@Ooorah Recommends...

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MadMikeMarsbergen has some recommendations for you!

1. CHILDHOOD'S END by Arthur C. Clarke

I read this one back in September 2015 as part of my attempt to read more sci-fi books and try to write better sci-fi

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I read this one back in September 2015 as part of my attempt to read more sci-fi books and try to write better sci-fi. It was my first book by Arthur C. Clarke and I didn't know what to expect—whether it would be harder than Donald Trump's dick after he takes his nightly overdose of Viagra and paints his prick in liquid gold, which he then blow-dries to a semi-solid layer before dipping his dingus in molten titanium.

Or—if any of you are still here—would it be soft with a chewy centre? Just the way I like it, CHILDHOOD'S END was fairly soft science fiction. It was focused more on the brilliant story—a peaceful alien invasion—and the characters, rather than trying to make me jealous of the author's immense knowledge of quarks and how they differ from quasars. To my relief, there wasn't any of the latter.

Anyway, the book—as previously mentioned—deals with an often-unseen kind of alien invasion. Suddenly, massive ships appear in the sky, and the aliens manning them are humanity's benefactors, not their enslavers. The aliens eliminate sickness and squalor, and bring about a new era of man—one without ignorance.

But that's only the beginning of this book. There are many twists and turns that follow, and I don't want to spoil you in case you want to read this. You really should read this.


2. THE THREE STIGMATA OF PALMER ELDRITCH by Philip K. Dick

Keeping with the theme—we'll call it a theme for now—of often-unseen types of alien-invasion stories, next we'll do one by Philip K

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Keeping with the theme—we'll call it a theme for now—of often-unseen types of alien-invasion stories, next we'll do one by Philip K. Dick. I think of him as the Stephen King of science fiction, what with his easy-to-read style, massive bibliography, and drug use. Who knows how many more books he would have released if he hadn't died at the age of fifty-three from a series of strokes?

I read this one back at the end of October 2015, and I believe it was the fourth PKD book I'd read. Each one I've read by him has been excellent, and this was no exception.

Like a lot of his books from the '60s (and beyond), this one deals with one of his made-up drugs. In this book, Can-D is the drug everyone's taking, especially Martian colonists who live rather bleak, unfulfilling lives. Can-D makes them hallucinate, and they temporarily believe they're living in the world of Perky Pat and her friends, who is sort of like a Barbie character with a perfect life.

But then Palmer Eldritch comes around. He's got a new drug—Chew-Z, an alien hallucinogen he found in the Prox system—but it's even more addictive than Can-D. It's also claimed that it can provide the user with a more spiritual, introspective trip.

The people in charge of Can-D feel threatened, so they set out to shut Eldritch and Chew-Z down.

Like everything I've read by Philip K. Dick so far, THE THREE STIGMATA OF PALMER ELDRITCH has a big cast of characters with intersecting stories, and there are countless twists that'll leave your mind blown for days. Check this one out, and then check out all his other novels, as he's one of the most unique writers (of science fiction or otherwise) you're likely to find.


3. BATTLEFIELD EARTH by L. Ron Hubbard

Yes, the guy who founded the Church of Scientology

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Yes, the guy who founded the Church of Scientology. Before he did all that, though, he was actually an early writer of science fiction—there are conflicting reports of how popular he was, but one thing is certain: he was good friends with contemporaries from that era, like Robert A. Heinlein. But I don't want to really get into the personal details of Hubbard, because a lot of it is he-said-she-said shit, rumours and all that crap.

This book, published in 1982, was his return to the writing world. He claims in the introduction that he'd recently had a period where he had lots of free time, so he decided to "write a novel of pure science fiction" to amuse himself. (Looking on Wikipedia, it seems he went into hiding and travelled around the Pacific Northwest in an RV.) It's also a tome—my paperback copy is one thousand and fifty pages.

BATTLEFIELD EARTH is set in the year 3000 on an Earth where most of humanity has been long since wiped out by the Psychlos, a violent and cruel alien race obsessed with money and mining. What little pockets of mankind do exist tend to be sickly, but at least they are somewhat safe from the Psychlos.

As is the case with Jonnie Goodboy Tyler and his village. As you can guess based on his middle name (which seems to be a thing unique to his village, as his father's middle name was "Brave"), Jonnie is our hero. He's smart but reckless, and after his father's death at the book's beginning, he sees no reason to remain in the village where everyone is sick and newborns seem to be increasingly deformed at birth. Jonnie wants to move the village's people to a new location, the plains, but the elders claim the monsters can get them there. Thinking they're just stories, Jonnie loads up his horses and sets out to explore the plains. Chrissie, a girl who loves Jonnie, tells him if he's not back in one year she will go look for him.

Enter Terl, a Psychlo and the Security Chief for the Denver mining facility. He's the main villain for the first half of the book, and his main motivations are making enough money to get off Earth, which he considers to be the lowliest post for a Psychlo, and getting revenge for all kinds of slights against him. He reads in a book that mankind is almost extinct, reads about how the probe sent out by man (the probe that led Psychlos to Earth, actually) used gold. Terl loves gold—all Psychlos do—and sets out to capture a human early on and use that human to capture other humans, and then he plans to force them to mine gold for him.

Terl captures Jonnie very quickly, stumbling upon him exploring a ruined city. He throws Jonnie in a cage, treats him like a stupid animal (even calls him "animal"), and tries to figure out how to communicate with such a dumb, inferior creature.

And thus begins the back-and-forth rivalry, where both Terl and Jonnie believes they're outsmarting the other. It's very fun to witness, and the book is incredibly fast-paced considering its immense length. There's lots of action and intrigue, with some colourful characters introduced throughout, like Ker, the "midget Psychlo," who is treated by his race like some kind of moron despite appearing to be smarter than all of them.

As previously mentioned, Terl is the villain for the first half. This isn't really a spoiler, as the book feels like it could be divided in two. If published today, it probably would be two books, or even three. In the second half of the book, more alien races crop up and it appears the Psychlos weren't very loved at all.

I loved BATTLEFIELD EARTH, and if you want an adventurous piece of science fiction—and if you're able to ignore that L. Ron Hubbard created scientology—you should check this one out. There's no scientology in it, so have no fear.


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