A Tragic Hero

Chapter 22

Ryder's eyebrows quirked high at Sky's revelation.
"They...blamed you?"
He placed a light hand on her damp cheek, sending a wave of warmth through her.
Sky had dreamed of this day. The day she would share her greatest burden with someone. Someone who would listen and comfort her. Some one she could actually trust in to not leave her as everyone else did.
She would have never imagined though sharing it with Ryder. This man who she had first met at the park was now going to be her greatest confidant. A strange, but deep feeling was coursing through her as she stared into Ryder's baby blue eyes.
He would listen.
"The night that Noah died mysteriously in his quiet hospital room, my mother in law blamed me for his passing. My father in law immediately backed up his wife. They said I was...I was cursed."
She continued her stare, seeing if Ryder would in any way waver. He didn't. So, she continued.
"My life has never been easy. My parents, Dean and Mary Rills, died in a wreck when I was only 14. They had never really been much of parents to me. My dad was always at work and my mom never wanted to be a mother in the first place. After they were officially proclaimed deceased, I moved in with my aunt who was always out and about, getting into what ever she could find. I never saw her much. She provided the necessities, but never the love."
"Anyways,"she mumbled,"I barely finished high school, never really caring much about anything those days. When I finally turned 18, I moved out and started working at a super market a couple blocks over. Once I made enough money for myself, I bought a tiny apartment at a run down part of town. Not really the most wisest idea I've ever had."
"I found a better job though at a local college close by from my apartment and, after quitting my other one, I started working there. I soon met an older man, a history professor at the college named Simon Ford. He would greet me every morning at first, and soon he started talking with me. We would have coffee some mornings together before his class started and he would just listen as I told him about my worries. He was like...like an actual father to me. At least that's how I saw him."
She paused for a moment, recalling how Simon would always give her a comforting smile as they drank their hot joe together. She missed him dearly.
"One morning, we were sitting in the cafeteria like we usually did, when one of his student crashed into me as we stood up to go our separate ways. I had been standing right next to Simon, so when the guy crashed into me, I may have crashed into him."
Ryder chuckled, the sound alone filling her with strength. She could do this.
"The guy lost his footing then, tumbling to the ground with his books and all. I apologize to the professor for bumping him and he just waved his hand, smiling still. We both knelt down and started to help the guy. Simon's watch though started to beep, signaling it was time for him to start class. He hurried off to his classroom after giving me one last smile, leaving me and this random guy alone. I collected his loose leaf papers that had scattered across the floor, all the while hearing him apologize for crashing into me. After we cleaned the mess, he offered me his hand and helped me stand again. He then stared at my face, smiled, and introduced himself.
'My name's Noah.'
That's all he said, but I felt obligated then to tell him my name, so I did.
'Sky? Wow, I've never met a Sky before. I should have made a better first impression'
He made me laugh and after that day, we just kept seeing each other, sometimes randomly and sometimes...not so randomly."
"Sounds like love at first sight to me," Ryder remarked.
"More like love at first fall."
Once again, Ryder's laughter warmed the room. Not just the physical room they sat in, but the room that had been frozen shut in her heart for far too long.
"What happened next?" He asked, stretching out his limbs.
"The rest, I've already told you. Me and Noah  instantly clicked, and after we both finished college, We got married. Noah always had a love for God in him, even while we were dating and that contagious love spread to me. I wanted to learn, I wanted to grow closer to God with him, together."
Sky let out a sigh, feeling her heart shudder. She really did miss Noah and all he had represented. He would always be a precious memory for her to recall and cherish till the day she died.
"You still haven't fully answered my question though," Ryder glanced at her with curiosity.
"Why exactly did Noah's parents blame you?"
Sky gave Ryder a sad smile, fiddled with her fingers, and pressed on with her account.
"Noah was their only child. They gave him everything he ever wanted and needed. They were amazing at first, treated me like their very own. They would always say,'no matter what happens, we'll always love you Sky'. I guess they must have never meant it to begin with.
I remember at the wedding, they kept fussing over every little thing, especially my mother in law. She kept saying, if it ain't perfect, it's not good enough for my son. I don't think Noah ever noticed just how fussy she was being. When I walked down the aisle alone, she gave me this...this look. This look of failure. Like I could have done anything to change me walking down the isle alone! Trust me, it hurt to do that, to know that my mom and dad were gone and were never gonna be able to see me on my wedding day. It hurt a lot. Even if they didn't love me like they should have, I still love them, cause their my parents."
"But...yah," she looked up and caught Ryder's pained expression.
"I may never know if it was a real look or just my imagination, but it still haunts me."
"That's...that's terrible."
Ryder reached out and took her hand in his, gently making circles with his thumb on her palm. She didn't respond, just kept on with her story.
"The night that Noah died, they came storming into the hospital. My mother in law was yelling like a mad woman and my father in law was stone cold still like a statue. They spotted me in the hallway out side Noah's ICU room and demanded answers on why Noah was not picking up their calls. I couldn't speak, still choked up from their son's, my husband's, death that had just taken place minutes ago. They by passed me and my warning to not go into his room. I remember Fran's shriek and then the next thing I knew, they were both in my face, accusing me that this was all my fault. They claimed I had somehow caused Noah's death. They said I had not been a good enough wife to see the signs and get him help earlier. They even went as far as telling me that I didn't even care about Noah passing, that I was cursed and damned since the day I was mistakenly born."
A flood of tears broke open in her and she let them free, not holding back anything.
"God, I felt so hated, so-so worthless! I loved my husband with all my heart, and here were his parents blaming me for everything. I couldn't stop weeping for days. After minutes more of their accessions, they simply left me. I cried alone in the hospital. I was escorted out by a doctor when my time was up and somehow made it back to my car. I didn't start the engine, didn't care to do anything at that moment. I really wanted to end it all. I started to actually fall into the blackness of suicidal thoughts, reaching for ways of how to end my pathetic life. God felt like He was miles away from me. Why would He care? Why would He help me out of all people in any way? Where had He been all that time? At that moment, I had been ready to die, right then and there."
"But you know what happened next that kept me going?" Sky questioned Ryder lightly, squeezing his hand, giving him a soft smile of thanksgiving.
"No. What happened?"
He squeezed her hand back, leaning in closer.
"Jake kicked me in the side. That's what happened. It was his first kick that I had felt. And that, Ryder, changed everything around for me. I knew I had to survive, knew I had to stay strong for my son. For Noah's only son that was growing in me, I had to live. It was all I had left of Noah, a blessing. And so, I moved on. I started fresh, stayed committed to God by continuing to read His word and run to Him when I started feeling the darkness surround me, and kept moving forward."
Silence settled between them both as Sky ended her confession. It was a good kind of silence though, one that was meant to comfort, not worry. To sooth and not scare.
"That's why I have a great deal of trouble putting my trust in someone. They always end up...leaving me alone at the end."
She tried her best to give Ryder a smile, but only ended up frowning when she saw how genuinely saddened he looked.
She let the tears come again now, the weight of it all crashing in on her like it always did.
But, she had shared her burden with someone. Finally, she had let it go, let it all out for a change instead of once again keeping it hidden. And...and Ryder hadn't run from her. He hadn't scolded her, hadn't even shifted his gaze from her through the whole thing.
"Thank you,"she whispered after finding her voice.
"Thank you, Ryder. Though I've felt alone for a while, and though I've doubted that God still has good things stored up for me, I feel relieved now of that giant burden, thanks to you."
She didn't think twice about it, just acted upon the sudden urge to embrace her new found confidant.
Ryder went completely still as she placed her head against his strong chest, her arms encircling his waist in a tight hold. In a quick second though, he loosened up and returned her surprise hug. His heart beat was soothing music to her ears, a steady rhythm that would never change. His warm breath played with the curls at the top of her head. His arms felt secure around her, unthreatened by any outside force that may try to get at her.
She just wanted to stay here, in his unwavering embrace, a place of peace and rest.
He would stay, her heart murmured.
He would stay, her mind affirmed.
Well, would you look at that. Those two were finally agreeing on something. She almost laughed aloud. Now, all she wanted to know what this: What was suppose to happen now?
"Hang in there Sky."
She pulled back just enough to met Ryder's brilliant blue eyes. A loving smile softened his facial features and his clear eyes held nothing but happiness as he gazed down at her.
"I know God still has good things laid ahead for you. I know He hasn't left you stranded like everyone else has. I know He hasn't, for a single  moment, left you alone. You know how I know?"
She watched how Ryder grinned wider, his ruggedly handsome face enhancing by the second.
"Because I'm here. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."
And for once in her entire life time, Sky whole heartedly believed in that promise.