Cornfused (Petekey)

I'm Not Used To Being Loved

As it seemed, the first day back wasn't as traumatic as I was expecting. It wasn't a perfect day either. However, that was mostly due to school. I had Patty with me and that was all I cared about. Patty. It seems so dumb to think that I care about someone this much but I bet everyone would agree if they knew how he made me feel. He knew everything about me and I knew everything about him. He was my better half. I hadn't felt like that about anyone since Patrick. 

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. Most people have never felt that way about anyone because the rest of the world thinks differently than they do. For someone who's seen the world and all it can offer, knowing that there's a chance of  doing better is stressful. You could meet anyone and have felt instant infatuation but when you see them believe and say things you don't agree with it all goes downwards. 

It's hard to fall in love with people that lack a lust for life. It's especially hard to be with anyone like that. I guess we all think we're geniuses and that everyone else is full of shit but I'm pretty sure all of us aren't geniuses at all. Every single person on the planet has flaws. Some are emotional. Some are physical. But the ones that strike me the most are the mentality flaws. 

You all know people who think that they have all of the answers or that they're "mature" for their age. No one is. I can guarantee you that no one is truly smart we just think we are. A girl in your class who gets straight A's isn't the epitome of intelligence. Neither are your parents who believe that the issue with our generation is technology. And it certainly isn't rebellious teenagers who complain when their parents won't let them spend the weekend with their boyfriends/girlfriends in Los Angeles. 

I don't trust people who think that they're better than their peers because I can assure you no one is better than anyone. Patty is the only person I can talk to about any of this because most people laugh and say that I expect too much from people. I don't. Expecting people to educate themselves and understand that the world is more than themselves isn't a high standard. It's quite literally the bare minimum. 

This goes for a lot of things. Politics, school, parenting, relationships etc. You won't believe how many people say that they don't necessarily care about politics but they say that they're a republican or a democrat. That doesn't make any sense. Just because politics don't necessarily affect you personally doesn't mean you shouldn't care. 

Of course, it's fine to have opinions as long as they aren't dehumanizing people or you aren'r educated about it. A man may shake his head and look the other way when the word feminism is mentioned because he simply doesn't understand the extent of it. He just goes off of his beliefs due to what he sees being represented in the media. Same concept applies to anyone who 1. is not lgbt 2. a person of colour and/or 3. a female. 

You may be thinking, "Pete, this isn't what love is about. Why do you care so much about politics and being educated? When you're in love you can look past that!" No, you can't. Being in love isn't just romantic dates, kissing, and sex. It's about being with someone who you can feel at peace with, share things about yourself without shame, and being able to communicate. Love is everywhere but it's impossible to find it in people who are ignorant and don't want to better themselves. Things get to a point where someone's feet on the dashboard of your car stops being sexy and starts being annoying and arrogant. 

No one thinks about this because everyone's willing to settle and waste about 48 years of their life with someone who doesn't understand how life works in any way. Age doesn't make anyone smarter. It only has the power to give someone more experience in hopes that they'll use the knowledge about their own life and use it in a way that can help themselves and others. Everyone's full of bullshit. No one knows what's going on and I realized that when the people I thought were cool growing up turned out to be fucking losers. I don't mean the stereotypical "oh I have no friends" kind of losers. I mean people who act as if they are on the same level as god. It makes me fucking laugh.