Welcome Back, Riley

Chapter 10

My eyes move between Lucas, Maya and Zay. I'm pretty sure Maya was the one who called Lucas. Silence fills the air along with a thick layer of tension. I'm expected to just listen to her. I just told Lucas about the daughter he'll never get to meet, and he told me how he used to be a drug dealer. Sometimes you just have to know when you've had enough for one night.

I stand up, but they all move in sync to block me from moving to the front door. I feel trapped. My mouth feels dried. I need to get out of here, now.

"Can I get some water?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'll go-"

I cut Lucas off, "No, can I get it myself? I need a moment alone right now." I can feel all their eyes on me and I feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah. Kitchen is just that way," he says gesturing down the hallway.

I find my way into a kitchen and I stare at the backdoor that leads to the backyard. It'll be so easy to just leave, run away. I just heard what Lucas had to say. I can't handle anymore tonight.

I take a step towards the door. It's now or never, I can just sneak out. It'll be easy.

"Don't think about it, Sugar," I turn around and I see Zay standing there crossing his arms.

"Zay, please."

"No, I'm not going to let you run away. Just talk to me, you did at one point."

Tears start unleashing from my eyes, "I should have never come back Zay. It was a mistake. I need to get out of here." I push my way to the front door, but he pulls me back.

"What happened? Talk to me, Riley."

"Did you know he was selling drugs?!" I shout, but not too loud so Maya and Lucas don't hear.

"I knew, but not until Maya told me after what happened when she came home with him one day and-"

"And someone was here," he nods. "What am I supposed to do Zay? I ran away, it's what I'm good at now," I sob. I gesture to the direction of the living room, "Lucas is out there still wanting to be with me, and everything inside me is wanting to run into his arms." The tears don't stop.

"So what's the problem?"

"I can't forgive myself. Not for the chance I robbed him of. He never got to meet her," I can't see through my tears. I can barely catch my breath. "He never got to meet her, and it's my fault." I start hyperventilating, "it's my fault." My sobs are becoming uncontrollable. I try to shallow back my tears, "He'll never meet her and it's my fault."

Zay grabs my face, "Calm down, I'm right here, like I said I'll always be here." I try to stop crying; I can't it just softens. "Who will Lucas never meet?" he asks hesitantly.

I shake my head vigorously, "No one. I got to go Zay." He grabs my wrist and I look up at him with my puffy red eyes, "Let me go Zay."

"Maya needs to talk to you, and honestly you need to talk to her." I scoff wiping my face with the back of my hands. "I'm tired of seeing herself beat herself up. She still cries sometimes. Yes, I know what she did was-"

"Mindless, foolish, ridiculously stupid?"

"Yes all of those and then some, but c'mon you two were attached at the hip. You guys were Riley and Maya, Maya and Riley. She was your Peaches and you were her Riles. You're smiley Riley. You forgive."

I start laughing through my tears, "The thing is Zay, that isn't who I am anymore." I don't waste any time reaching for the door. Before I walk out, I turn around and see him move towards to the living room. "Zay," he turns around, "give me a minute before you run in there and tell them I'm running away. Please," I plead.