One Night

Climbing out of the Rabbit Hole

AN: Ok, I'm bored. So here's a chapter! I hope you enjoy! 

*Savanna's POV* 

To say that Josh waited on me hand and foot was an understatement. He wouldn't leave my apartment. He barely left my side and/or bed. I didn't mind really. It was nice having someone who cared this much (who wasn't Sam or Kate). He kept me warm, feeling loved and helped me out of the self pity hole that I had jumped into. He always reminded me how I was better off without Evan, how far I've come since him, and how good I was doing with out him. Josh was great. He ran and got me food, played nice with Sam, who was pretty pissed at him, but wouldn't tell me why, and treated me like a queen. 

Sunday night, while we were laying in bed, I realized that Christopher wasn't here, that I hadn't seen him since Friday. I turned and snuggled into Josh's chest. Hmmm, he smelled good. His arms tightened and I looked up. His blue eyes were bright in the dark and he smiled. 

"Hey, Sav," he hummed. I stretched up and kissed his scruff. He kissed the top of my head. "How are you doing, really? Don't give me any of that bull shit you gave Sam. I know when you're lying." 

I rolled my eyes. The entire weekend, I kept telling Sam, who then told Kate, that I was ok. I have had my melt down, but I'm coming back. I told her that Evan was nothing but a scar that needed to be covered up with some make up. And she believed me.

Josh, however, knew the truth. He'd seen me cry after he left. He'd seen me muttering to myself. He'd seen me when I was about to cut again. He'd seen me when I thought I was nothing. And he was the one to hug me close, he'd been the one to force himself in my conversation with myself, he'd been the one to take the scissors away. I sighed and looked at him, noticing the slightly dark circles, the scruff, the messy hair, the warmth of his arms, his body. 

"I'm ok," I said. "At least, I think so. I know that I let what he did affect me too easily. I let Christopher's story affect me too easily. I let Evan come too close to me. But, I think I'm ok." I smiled a small smile. He sighed, not believing me.

"I know that I'm not nothing, Josh. I realize everything you said was true: I am better off without him. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't be here in Houston, with my best friend, a good boyfriend and a good job. If it hadn't been for him, I would still be working my ass of in that pathetic town I lived in. But it was me who got me here. Sure he was the reason I left, started working, and moved, but I've become much stronger. I underestimated the hold he had on me, the hold I allowed him to have. And it's thanks  to you that I know all of this, Josh. You're amazing. Thank you so much." 

I hugged him tighter. I heard him sigh and he held me closer. He nustled his head into my hair. I rested my cheek on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. 

"I'm here for you, always," he murmured. I smiled. 

"Yay," I said softly. He chuckled in response.

* 

Going back to work had been Josh's idea. He told me that sitting in my apartment alone with my thoughts and Sam would be bad for me and Sam agreed with him. So to his urging and prodding, I got up, took a shower, and got dressed. He left while I was in the shower and Sam told me he was going to meet me back at work. I smiled and gave her a hug.

"Thank you," I whispered. "I'm so lucky to have you as my friend. I love ya, Sammy girl."

I pulled away. She had tears in her eyes and she wiped them away, scoffing.

"Shut up and get your ass to work," she said, more tears threatening to fall. She hated being emotional and don't get me started when it came to relationships. It just wasn't her forte. I smiled and nodded.