Randomness

Part #7

It's been a long time since I have done this.
Okay first things is that I'm currently losing myself, everything is stressful with school. I just want to cry everyday, but it won't help me in life. Everything is pressing onto me, I barely fighting. I'm losing the battle, but I keep fighting. I can barely smile from time to time. I'm zoning out from reality. I barely can sleep because of my eczema. My tights for ballet are more itchy. I can barely stay awake during a boring class. I'm losing myself over school. I know I should be grateful, but I can't do it. With everything my problems hanging over me. With my friends, I feel like I'm not smart enough in math, or not good enough in orchestra. Something is not right with the school system in America. I can't do all these classes in high school. Right now school is about passing not learning. I learn things, but my assignments are determined by a letter. A LETTER! My head has been hung low. With my President being an orange. (Sorry Trump supporters) I can barely call him my president. With the coral bleaching in the Great Barrier Reef by global warming. With World War III on our hands. Having teenagers fix everything in the future. With mental problems, besides bullying. Bullying is a small factor of why students don't want to go to school. Most of them is mental problems. For example I feel like I have anxiety and depression. Giving not a care in the world, while at the same time care for my loved ones. My soul is dying from all this. My sister being a whiny b*tch, complaining about that she has to wait for a long time for me. While I wait for her, I never say anything because I have more time doing things for myself. Her complaining about getting the mail, I never complain. I just do it, knowing if I don't do it, I will get yelled anyways. Me being cooped up in my room, not doing anything. Having someone you try to be friends with break your trust. When your escape is only the Internet. You can sorta be yourself on the Internet. When your other escape is through writing. I'm losing myself. My soul is dying. Help, I need help. The school system is killing me. My problems are killing me. Help.