Fighting temptation

Ghosting

Two months later... actually two months twenty days (I was counting) I had finished the little house project mom had put me on and was trying my damnest to forget about the job I did not have and a certain man that as much as I wanted to hate I still craved.

I kept reminding myself that it was inevitable things would end between us and that me ending it was better than catching him in bed with some other girl. I am not proud how I ended it. I just stopped picking his calls and after the 8th unanswered one, he stopped calling. on one hand, I was relieved, on the other, I wished he would have just come find me. But isn't that how flings end? One party wishing things were different?

Even though I did not plan on seeing again he was always on my mind. I remembered every touch, every word we had ever spoken. During the day I brushed him to the back burner of my mind locked him away where he wouldn't get out but at night he infested my dreams.

It drove me crazy that every night I craved his touch. I was in a constant bad mood especially in the mornings, especially now that there was nothing occupying my time.

According to Aisha the best way to get him out of my system was by getting under someone else. She had set me up on dates. A lot of dates
Some I went to, some I lied I went to just to shut her up. There is just so many horny men you can take before you lose your mind.

The only guy I wanted to go on a date with was Kev. I realized this when I accidentally bumped into him in the most random of places.

I had taken mom to her dentist and had an hour to kill. I decided to walk across the street to get a drink and she would join me after she was done. I wasn't about to sit in the waiting room with that hospital smell all around me.

I saw his car first. Before I could convince myself I was seeing my own things he walked out of the hotel his tall frame dwarfing everything around him.

I had the same reaction I got when I first saw him. My brain just refused to work. Of course, he wasn't alone. I didn't expect him to be. Even so, my heart gave a sickening thud as I watched him smile lovingly at the female clutched to his side.

That is the problem with flings. You are supposed to be ok when the other person moves on. You are even expected to go to their wedding of they decide to get married and expect you not say anything.

Looking at the two I realized that would never be me. I would never just switch to a platonic friendship with the guy I had the most mind-blowing sex with. I wasn't ready to face the fact that I hated seeing his hands wrapped around the willowy blonde.
Especially when they looked so good together.

I tried looking for a place to escape to. But I was parked next to his fucking car and there was no way I could escape without calling attention to myself.

He looked good with his white shirt tucked into his navy pants. A well-dressed man just escorting his lady home from a lovely lunch. Her coat was in his right hand. I knew it was hers because I highly doubt he would ever wear a mustard coat. Besides, it matched her little flowered dress and she looked like the person who cared about her matching abilities. I wouldn't lie, it killed me to see the familiarity between them. We never walked arm in arm during the daylight like that. Our meetings were mostly in my house or a hotel and always at night.

It hit me then that I might have been a side dish. I smiled to hide the realization that I had allowed myself to feel for him more than I had a right to.

They looked good together. Maybe too good if you take the stares they got into consideration.

I hoped he would walk past me. If he kept looking at her like that he may just pass without seeing me. He turned his head then, his eyes locking squarely with mine. There was surprise and something else that disappeared so fast I thought I imagined it.
I wanted to smile but my mouth could not cooperate.

Fuck, I now had to be civil and say hi to the girl even though my instincts told me to gouge her eyes out.
'You do not own him...' i repeated to myself over and over as he steered the lady towards me.

'Hi, Trish. You look well.' His eyes raked over me and I wished I was wearing something other than the old black jeans and black bodysuit. Thank god mom had insisted on me wearing the gold strappy heels.

'Hi. Thank you.' I tried the smile again and the awkwardness of the moment stretched on. I wasn't over him. I knew it in and I think he knew it as well.

I tried smiling and this time I felt my lips curve. I turned to his date and extended my hand.
'Hi, I am Trish,' like he hadn't just said my name.
'Jordan.' she smiled her hands still clutching his arm. He didn't seem to mind it. I, on the other hand, couldn't seem to ignore it.
'Well nice to meet you Jordan.'
'Trish used to work with me.' Kev added after a few awkward seconds of silence.
'Oh... She doesn't anymore?'
'No she quit. It was quite a shock to most of us.'
'Actually, I was fired first.' The smile seemed to stay on this time.
'And reinstated...'
I wanted to punch him in the throat. He was the reason why that reinstatement had taken place. The reason why I couldn't accept and lose respect from the people I worked with.
I realized the anger was the only thing keeping me from asking him to go home with me that instant. I held on to the anger.
'I do not accept handouts...'
He actually looked surprised.
'Actually,  I need to head in, my mother is waiting.' I said before he could add something else and prolong the moment of torture.

I hoisted my bag on my shoulder and turned to leave but he pulled my hand. Shit, I could still feel the electric charge in my blood from where his fingers connected with my arm.

'Can we have dinner sometime?'
My eyes flitted to the girl, her expression had turned to ice.'
Was she seriously mad at me?

'Sure why not.' That would teach her. She should reign in her man instead of blaming me for his bad manners.
'Can I call you?'
I purposely did not look at the girl. This was just too humiliating.

'Sure.'
I said and walked quickly to the hotel feeling their eyes on me. I was suddenly too hot. Why did I have to see him now?What was that stunt he pulled? The man clearly had no shame.
I was falling into the pit where every woman finds herself when she likes a man. The pit where you see another woman as competition.
What was I going to do if he called me? What if she called me instead?