It Appears I Have A Continuing Love Of Taking Life Threatening Risks

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I wake up with that feeling. That feeling where you know you woke up because of something bad. My entire body feels jittery. Slowly, I move Maple aside and sit up. I blink the sleep out of my eyes.

My face is level with the barrel of a gun. I freeze.

"Finally awake, I see, miss." says Shylock. "You don't seem nearly as lethal when you're on the ground like that."

No one else is awake yet. That's probably why Shylock's voice is so low. I get ready to leap up and start screaming my head off when Shylock stops me cold.

"It would be quite a shame if you woke your friends up. I would hate to have to finish them off." He says in a way that has me feeling it would be his pleasure to "finish off" the others. More shooters step out of the bushes.

I clench my teeth, standing up carefully. Maple rolls over onto her side and yawns, still sleeping. I pick my way over to him. The gun follows me the entire time, but it's not that I'm worried about. I see tiny red tracer dots on every other sleeping form.

"Loyalty." Shylock whispers, shaking his head in mock disappointment. I wonder if it's possible to kill someone with just pure hatred.

I try to think of a way out as I walk stiffly past Shylock. There isn't one that won't get my friends hurt. The best thing I can do for them now is to be as quiet as possible.

I stalk away with the barrel at my back. I'm led deeper into the woods. I search for any water at all, but they have cleared all the puddles. I hate Shylock. I hate the government. Why can't they just leave us alone?

My body goes rigid as I hear a second pair of footsteps behind me.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Shylock says to someone and I turn, fearing the worst.

Coal is there, fists balled, looking murderous. All of the shooters point their guns at him. I glare at him to leave, but he ignores me.

"Let her go, leave, and never come back." Coal snarls. "Or die. Either works for me."

Shylock snorts. "Trying to be the hero, hmm?" He nods at the shooters. "Take him out."

"No!" I choke and rush forward.

Shylock grabs me, gripping down hard on the burn. I cry out as his fingers dig into the sensitive skin.

Coal's eyes flash. His fists start to glow red. The ground ignites into flames. The other men yell and drop their guns. They race away, clothes burning. The fire spreads, devouring the area in a circle around Coal. Shylock screams as the flames crawl up his body. He stumbles away, disappearing into the wavering air.

I can still hear the screams of pain from the other men. I crouch down on my small patch of not burning ground, covering my ears in an effort to block out the shrieking. The screams, the heat, the roaring. It echoes from my darkest memories. I can hardly breathe through the smoke.

What if it's an "accident" again and this time I kill you?

I force myself up. I can barely see through the brightness of the inferno. I catch a glimpse of Coal through the smoke. His figure is wavy from the heat. He's a huge fireball, red with anger. But his face is turned towards me.

He looks scared.

I try to move forward, but the wall of heat stops me. My arm hurts; my skin is tingling from being so close to the fire. My stomach twists in panic. The screaming reverberates in my mind.

"Coal!" I shout over the crackling. He doesn't respond. Coal can't stop it. He looks helpless, frozen in terror.

He's going to burn the forest down.

I don't know what to do. My mind is screaming run but I can't go anywhere. I have to get to Coal. He's only about ten feet away from me. The only thing in the way is the fire.

He wouldn't kill me. That's why I haven't been swallowed by the flames. If I can just get to him...

I take a wheezy breath of smoky air, brace myself, and jump into the blaze. I squint and sprint straight through the tongues of flame. I feel the heat singing my hair, burning my clothes. I hope that if I run fast enough, the fire won't catch. So far it's worked, but I can feel my feet start to burn when I touch the ground.

I see Coal, turned towards me, yelling something. His voice is drowned out by the roaring of the flames. I barrel into him, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing so hard I'm not sure he can breathe.

I wait for the heat to eat at me, to burn my skin. I wait for the pain to crash back in. It doesn't though. I blink my eyes open.

Everything is black. The trees, charred. The ground, singed. Everything. It's like the world has been turned into a black and white film. Smoke lifts from the ground like grey ghosts. Ash drifts into dust clouds in the wind.

"Are you insane?" Coal shouts at me. "You could've died! I could've killed you!"

I can feel his heart pounding, almost as fast as mine. We're both shaking.

"I could've killed you." he says weakly. "I could've...could've..." Coal trails off and he goes limp.

I stumble under his weight as he collapses to the ground. Jeez, he's heavy. I sit next to him, not bothering to move. The ground is still warm and an ash cloud rises up underneath me. The earth is still smoking slightly, and the trees loom like tall, black shadows.

I expect to hear someone coming up behind me, Breeze maybe, or Steel, but nothing happens. I suddenly get a very cold feeling inside.

What if they're dead?

I stand up. I feel torn. I can't drag Coal the entire way back to camp; he's too heavy from eating, like, lead or something. But I can't leave him unarmed either. I waste ten minutes just pacing around, trying to figure out what to do. I've already left Breeze and the others alone once before. It starts to rain.

The ash mixes with the water to form sickeningly grey puddles. Sighing, I brush a wet strand of hair out of my eyes. I sweep my hand up, and the water conjoins into an igloo above Coal. I freeze it.

I walk over to the ice and run my finger across it. A thin layer of frost trails behind wherever I touch. It looks pretty, against the ash speckled ice. I draw absent mindedly, deep in thought. I didn't really think about what I was doing when I ran through the fire. Usually I'm the kind of person who pauses before everything, thinks before I act, and plays the situation out in my head.

Coal is the exact opposite. He reacts off of impulse and always chooses fight over flight. He won't think, just does.

Annoyed, I splash through a large puddle collecting underneath a charred tree trunk. I freeze the little droplets into spikes and fling them into the burnt wood. Black charcoal dust crumbles off the bark from the impact.

I spin around, the rain drops circling up my arms. I toss my hands up and watch the water fly of them, spiraling through the air in an arc. They patter to the ground, mixing in with the other drops of rain.

I just stand there, relishing the feeling of being wet. I'm completely soaked, but I don't mind. It feels good. The drops are cool against my skin, easing the slight burning. The water runs in rivulets down my face. I close my eyes, tilting my head to the sky.

Everything is just so peaceful for once. No one was persistently coming up to ask me something, talk to me, suggest ideas. I feel almost free from the burden.

They are not a burden. I chide myself, ashamed for such thoughts. The leadership is a burden.

I should stop complaining. I mean, I basically asked for it, giving out orders and taking control. I almost wish I could do it all over. Once you start though, there's no going back. It's just stressful, constantly worrying where everyone is, if they're okay, what they're doing, when they'll be back.

I push all thoughts to the back of my mind and let the rain wash off all the pain.

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