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(don't forget to vote :DD)

The water stings my back. Burning its way down my scars. Cleaning the grime off my skin. I feel incredibly numb.

It had taken me a good 15 minutes to figure out the shower knobs. I only have used one once before when I had warmed the bed of a, particularly wealthy businessman.

He had been one of the nicer men I had used to get a meal, bed, and a roof over my head. 

Of course, as nice as any man could get for sleeping with at the time, a 15-year-old girl.

So, the last time I had used a shower was 3 years ago. It seems more like a lifetime.

Everything feels so blurred. My thoughts tangled. My head feels cramped.

The shower steam filling up the room, makes it look more like a strange mystic land, then a wolf kings bathing room.

The soap I use smells like him. Everything smells like him in this damn place. It's frustrating.

After he had dragged me out of the forest, he had wrapped my hand in 10x the amount of bandage it probably needed. All while growling at me to 'be careful you stupid fox.'

I had just let him do what he needed to do. I was exhausted, the forest leaving me more confused than ever.

As soon as he was done, I had shot up, claiming I needed to use the bathroom, really I just needed to time to sort out my thoughts. 

But as soon as I had seen the shower, I wanted to go in. Memories of the last time I had used one filtered in through the back of my mind. It was a good place to think.

Now I'm here. My mind has calmed, and I'm tired. Oh so very tired.

+++

I met a god. She was beautiful and ruthless and had a smile that cut like a knife.

I had loved her, for everything I was worth. Oh gods how I had loved her. How I love her still.

Her lips were as soft as the smoothest silk, eyes a color brown I had never seen before. 

Her words always so dangerously delicious. Coy, smart, a legend.

 A girl and a god, made of smashed hopes and shattered worlds.

"Lillian, my sweet darling Lillian." She would whisper in the dead of night. Our limbs wrapped together. Skin on skin. Two girls, two very different worlds. Entwined as one.

I met a god once. We fell in love, she left. 

The end.

(I should've known a god would never stay)

+++

The towel was so plush it screamed money. I never knew towels could do that. 

As the steamed cleared, I quickly realized my dirty clothes - if you could call them clothes- had been replaced by an oversized looking shirt and some undergarments I had never seen before. Although thank the six gods, they were women underpants.

No need to worry about drying my hair, considering I had close to none of it. I slip into the faded shirt and underpants quickly. The shirt smells like him. I want to rip my hair out.

The relaxing room now suffocating. A reoccurring theme it seems. 

I slide out the bathroom door, into the wolf kings room. 

I let out a huge sigh of relief when I realize he isn't here. For now.

But I do notice something else. A steaming plate of food lying on a huge desk in front of the window.

I waste no time making my way over to it. My stomach growling at me like an animal to hurry up.

There is a note next to it. I find myself again, thanking the gods for letting me be one of the few children who actually learned how to read. 

'My little fox,

I'm no liar.

~Ares'

I almost laugh. The god of war. How fitting.

+++

That was definitely the best food I have ever had in my life. Although to be fair, there really isn't much to compete with.

For a second I think about my situation critically. 

I think about my mother, what would she do?

Would she turn her back on her own people for a taste of luxury? Especially luxury she might not be sure is permanent? Gamble everything for a taste of power and safety?

Because I sure might. 

If there's one thing I know, it's that everyone can be manipulated. Even kings.

I could quite possibly use whatever position I have here, whatever this is supposed to be, to my advantage. I was a human.

Apparently a queen too. 

 Too much is at stake to just walk away by this point.

The king could be mine. He wants me I can tell. Why? Right now that doesn't matter. 

Because if the king is mine so is the world he rules over. And worlds can change. I could make a difference if only I dared.

Do I dare hope? For a better future? For a better world?

+++

Trust me when I say, the bed is more comfortable than it looks. 

I sink in instantly. Wrapped up in warmth. 

The king has yet to make an appearance, and I can not say I miss him and his wicked stares.

Though I do feel an absence without him, I do not like that one bit.

+++

Later that night, or it must be early morning by now. I feel a heavy arm wrap around me, pulling me into a rock solid chest.

He's so warm I swear where his skin touches me, it sears the skin. Leaving me completely exposed to the wolf king. To my god of war. 

I wish I could say it was all acting, not pushing him away, I wish I could say I was just doing this to make him think he has a chance.

But that would be a lie. 

+++

It seems manipulation comes at a price. 

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so this wasn't as long bc i did put out another chapter this week plus i have exams rn so!! i hope u enjoy

also just to clarify, yes, lillian is bi. as in, she likes both men and women, as in, at one point she fell in love with a girl (or as lillian puts it, a god :D)

anways, don't forget to vote! i truly hoped u enjoyed this chapter, i loved writing it!


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