Shattered || kthxbts

Chapter 1

All of the band members were sound asleep, not hearing the whimpers and cries from the second-youngest member. 

Taehyung had been getting nightmares and had trouble sleeping without the help of sleeping pills. 

He had nightmares of the abuse from his childhood but could not tell if it was real or not. 

Taehyung chose to just ignore it and not tell the members thinking that he would be a burden to them. 

Since he was so tired all the time, Taehyung frequently forgot to take his pills for the last month not knowing the consequences that would happen soon. 

Taehyung sat up and headed to the bathroom across the hall from his, Jimin, and Jungkook's room. 

He brought a make-up bag to cover up his prominent eye bags so he would not get questioned later on. 

Taehyung did not want to worry any of the members so he never complained about having trouble sleeping and kept to himself. 

Who knows what hid behind that rectangular smile he always seemed to have on. 

~

Once everyone was up and ready they split up to their schedules. 

Taehyung had a different schedule than the rest because he was filming his drama, Hwarang. 

He always tried to be with his family but their schedules clashed. 

If BTS (excluding Taehyung) had a day off, Taehyung would be filming and vice versa. 

Lately Taehyung felt as if he wasn't as good as the other members and felt like an outcast to them. 

Taehyung thought that he was not skinny enough and unfortunately stopped eating and tried to skip meals. 

He did not want to become a problem to his family and thus kept quiet and acted as if nothing was wrong. 

It's not like he could have told them anyway, he was always alone. 

If only his bandmates knew Taehyung was very fragile and could not handle anymore. 

~

That day Taehyung arrived home early, excited to tell the others good news he had learned today after filming.

Since his birthday was coming up, he wanted to treat the others to dinner and tell them the news then. 

He was not complete with them and it felt like he was missing a piece of himself whenever they were separated.

~

Taehyung was sitting on the couch watching TV eagerly anticipating the members' return. 

He wondered if they all had been sleeping properly considering their schedule was quite tiring and long.

Taehyung also noticed they were looking quite skinny and wanted to buy them lots and lots of their favorite foods. 

He glanced at the clock, 6:15.

'They should be here soon. I wonder what they would like to eat for dinner? Steak? Fish? I can't wait to see them. Calm down Taehyung!'

Suddenly, Taehyung heard shuffling behind the front door and quickly stood up. 

The door swung open and Namjoon popped in, then Jin and Yoongi, following was J-Hope, and finally Jimin and Jungkook. 

Taehyung noticed the atmosphere around them was tense and their facial expressions were gloomy, making Taehyung uncomfortable. 

"What's wrong guys? You seem a little down. May I help you with anything?" 

"Nothing Hyung, just a little scolding from Manager Hyung." Jungkook tried to reassure Taehyung.

"We can talk about it if you want. I'm always ready to listen to my family." 

No one responded and blatantly ignored him.

'Ouch. Wait. Dinner!'

"Why don't we go out to dinner since we have not seen each other in a while? We can talk and joke around just like before and besides I have good news to share!" 

After waiting for a minute or two for a response Taehyung tried again, not wanting to give up. 

"So can we go-" 

"Taehyung! We don't want to go with you. Can you not read the atmosphere? We are all tired and want nothing more than to sleep. We really don't have time to entertain you right now. Just learn to grow up a bit will you?" Jin lashed out at Taehyung. 

Taehyung stood shocked at the outburst. 

"Hyung I'm-"

"Taehyung-ah, you can't always live in your own little world. You have to be considerate after our exhausting schedules ok?" J-Hope asked, tone sharp. 

The atmosphere made Taehyung feel as if he was suffocating. 

It was very tense and gloomy.    

Like a scolded puppy, Taehyung looked down. 

"Hyung, please realize we had a bad day and can not keep up with your energy."

Taehyung glanced up and immediately wanted to look back down. 

Namjoon looked at him a bit annoyed and the normally calm-headed Yoongi looked ready to lash out too. 

Jimin smiled wearily but his eyes showed irritation towards Taehyung.

J-Hope just went back to doing his own thing and Jin and Jungkook didn't even look at him. 

He could practically feel the disappointed stares at his back. 

'Nuisance. Burden. Troublesome. Bother.'  

Those words were repeating in Taehyung's head like a mantra. 

'What have I done? I became what I tried not to become, a burden.'

"Tae, we will talk about this tomorrow. Just get some rest alright?"

Jimin said breaking Taehyung from his thoughts. 

Soon Taehyung was standing alone, dinner plans crushed. 

~

Taehyung was in his bed, Jimin sleeping peacefully across the room.

'Am I that annoying to them?'

'How long have they thought that? Am I just a burden to them? I didn't want to upset them. I just wanted to be with them and put everything back to normal. Was that too much to ask for? I hope they forgive me.'

Taehyung kept having similar thoughts throughout the night, only getting about three hours of sleep. 

The nightmare that night was all of BTS abandoning him. 

That was even more terrifying than the beatings. 

~

Taehyung was too caught up with his thoughts he forgot to take his pills...again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I apologize for the long hiatus. I had testing and forgot about the story. Now that it is summer I should be abe to update more frequently. Thank you for being patient and reading my story. 

Feel free to comment and question. 

Word count: 1018