Chapter 30

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Your P.O.V

It was the middle of the night when I woke up, the dining hall still empty and devoid of life, and I quietly rolled out of the dining hall.

As I entered the dark corridor, I could barely see my hand in front of me, but I kept rolling, nonetheless.

Sure enough, my chair got caught on a lump in the carpet, and I vaulted forward.

It did hurt, but only a little. I didn't damage myself severely, but my knees might be a little bruised.

But I just... laid there.

I almost didn't have the will to push myself back up...

I just stayed where I was for a while, letting two tears flow down my face

Eventually, the clanking of armor was heard before I heard them speed up until they were right in front of me.

"Excuse me miss! Are you alright?" I looked up and nodded as the man helped me into my chair.

He was careful not to hurt me as he grabbed under my arm, and set me back into the seat.

I smiled up at him gratefully, yet I felt a little dull inside as I did so.

He returned the gesture and I continued to roll down the hallway, trying to tune out my negative thoughts.

I was a little successful, but still upset anyway.

I sighed before pushing open the door to my room and softly smiling as the light in the hallway bled onto the dark bed and revealed a sleeping ball of fur.

I shut the door behind me and rolled over to the bed before crawling onto the mattress, careful not to sit on Scruffy before lying down, my body on top of the comforter.

I stared up at the ceiling in thought, mostly about which village I should transfer to.

Scaleswind is really nice and I heard the lord is pretty kind. Then there's Phoenix Drop... oh but the lord died recently... maybe when Willow comes for the wedding I can ask to work in the palace in Tu'la... or I could go to Pikoro... oh but wait, the lord banned magic... convenient how that's one of my only skills...

I raised my hand and poured energy into it, and the tingling sensation returned before bright yellow and white light sprouted from my finger tips and lit up the surrounding area around my finger. It danced around my hand as I maneuvered my fingers around it, and the sparkling lines formed vines and flowers and leaves before vanishing back under my skin as it glided across my palm and between my fingers. Then I frowned, and the lights quickly faded as my mind dived back into its infinite void of negative thoughts.

They only brought tears back to my eyes as I thought about my locket and how I'll never get it back, I thought about Clary, Riva, and Peony and if they really were leaving me behind. I was probably just trying to find pity for myself, but at this point, I didn't know. I thought about how it's going to feel when I leave and never come back, if I'll cause pain to my friends or maybe to...

I bit my lip as tears fell down my face again as I thought about him, and I raised my forearm before setting it on top of my eyes making the salty drops trickled from my eyes.

I gave up before rolling over onto my side and clutching the pillow even tighter than before.

Just tough it out tomorrow... after the wedding, just ask Willow if she'll allow you to work for her... then you can forget all about this past life and start over...

I nodded, the thought comforting me in a way. Then I closed my eyes, and after a few minutes of staring at the back of my eyelids, I felt the familiar drowsy feeling before I drifted off into sleep.

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