Chapter 13

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(Hello, dear readers. Hope you’d still like this instalment. Anger is part of grieving and Sandara in this story haven’t been through that yet. That’s why she couldn’t move past the tragic events of her life. So in the interest of moving on...)

As she ate the ramen with Donghae, she had an epiphany. She’d never say it out loud to him, of course, because God knows how his head will swell up if he knew what she thought of him. He’d be unbearable then. She paused with her slurping and looked at him briefly. She couldn’t help but smile. 

Right there and then on that nameless ramen place they regularly frequent, she sent a little prayer of thanks to the heavens for sending her a friend like Donghae. He knows how to push her to strain against her limits, to not be content on just sitting on the status quo. God knows if it weren’t for Donghae she’d still be answering phone calls, sorting mail, organizing coffee for everyone and she’d go on her life none the wiser never remembering that there’s more to life than just merely existing.

“Are you aware that you currently have a goofy smile on your face? You need to have your head checked.” He was back to being irritating again. ‘Lord, I’m taking back what I just said.’

She scowled at him but he just continued, “Your lightning shifts of emotion would give anyone whiplash it’s bordering on bipolar.” He jumped in his seat. “Yah! What are you kicking me for? I’m your boss I have the power to make you unemployed.” He exclaimed at her.

“You try it and we’ll see each other in the labor courts. Besides I’m now off the clock. Your not my boss here. Right now your just an annoying fly I want to squash!” He told him with a fierce expression on her face.

“You’re all bluff and no action, Park. I've got to give it to you though cos you still come out as cute when you try and fail at being scary.” He kept on talking. “If you’re as fierce and brave as you claim you’d have talked with that anonymous man long ago and put both yourselves out of your miseries.”

“You’re really forcing the issue, Lee. I’m not talking to you about it.” 

He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll back off but I’m here if you want to talk. I know you’ve got Bom but it won’t hurt to have a male perspective of things sometimes.”

“I’ll take a rain check on that, Lee. Thanks for the offer anyways.” She said to him.

The ramen therapy was effective. She felt the flames of her rage slowly go down as they talked. By the time Donghae walked her to her car she no longer needed to fake her calm. Or so she thought. Donghae must be the calming agent because as she drove home alone the anger was seeping back.

By the time she got home she was fuming once again. She was beyond words. She was so het up she couldn’t sleep. She nursed her anger with another cup of coffee and waited for Bom to wake up.

As the sun’s rays started to lighten the sky, Bom emerged from her room yawning, face puffy from sleep. She saw her friend sitting on the balcony. She poured herself a cup of coffee and joined her outside.

“What’s wrong now?” She asked. ‘That stupid lizard must have done something again. He better watch his back because I’m going to get him!’ Bom swore to herself inside her head.

“He wrote a freaking confession, Bom. It was his penmanship I knew the moment I saw it. I’m going to rip him from limb to limb, Bom, I swear!” She declared to her friend. “After all these years, he think he can just apologize like that. He said he was sorry. I don’t care if he’s hurting or if he feels crap because of what he did. He’s fxxcked up if he thinks sorry is just going to cut it.” She set her mug on the table with a clatter.

She was pissed off. To hell with the consequences but she’s now itching for a fight. It’s a fight she should have given him six years ago. But years ago she was naive enough to think that she could live her life as a selfless tragic heroine just like in the movies. That it was the right thing to do.

She only realized just now that by being the better person she had only been deceiving herself. She realized that she’s not that magnanimous after all, because if she was she should have let go of all the anger a long time ago. She actually thought she did but the recent events only proved that it had been there all along -- just there simmering beneath all the pain. But now it has reached its boiling point.

“Are you in for kicking some lizard butt, Bommie?” She turned to Bom with fire in her eyes.

“Damn, girl. I thought you’d never ask.” Bom replied with a grin on her face.

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