Tough Love

CHAPTER TEN

ISABELLE.

At 16 weeks, my stomach was popped right out and looking as if I swallowed a watermelon whole. Well, maybe not that huge but big enough to see that I was indeed pregnant. My shirts barely fit, so I needed to purchase maternity wear. It was exciting, that I was finally showing properly.

The feeling of little flutters inside my stomach was an experience I wasn't going to forget. Nothing make me smile more than feeling them randomly, as if my baby was letting me know he or she was in there and saying Hi.

Morning sickness was easing off, but cravings were insane. All I wanted was sausage rolls smothers in tomato sauce. They were amazing, until the heartburn began to kick in and I was soon reaching for a glass of milk.

I hadn't heard from Ashton today, which disappointed me slightly. I had gotten used to waking up with 'good morning beautiful.' Was this it? Were we ending?

There was a thunderstorm outside, rain pounding down as I sat on the lounge, reading a book. Mum told me to read, to take my mind from him. It didn't help. Each night I couldn't help but worry if he had moved on, or if he was out having sex like crazy, enjoying the single status. I knew men used breaks as an excuse to pick up.

Sam and I had caught up a couple more times, he was often running along the beach as I walked the mornings. It was good to have a friend around, to just talk about life. He never asked about Ashton, or brought up the baby. I didn't either. It wasn't something I wanted to discuss with him.

Other than that. I had been thinking about Jenna, and why she hated me so much. Sometimes it made me wish Ash would just tell her the truth about her mother and the type of person she had been. Not some angel she was perceived to be.

Mum and I went to the ultrasound, she cried. I was surprised at how big the baby had grown in such a short time. They printed another photo for me, and I had it kept in a box for Ashton to see.

I had already decided that this weekend I was going back to tell him. He had every right to know, and keeping him in the dark just made me feel increasingly guilty as the days passed by. If he wanted to make a go of things, then I would try my hardest to do the same. I know deep in my heart that I wanted Ash, and we would work together to try and fix everything.

I'd run away from the problems, instead of staying to help solve what was the issue in the first place. To pass the blame and make it all his fault wasn't fair, this was both us. I had let that girl treat me poorly for so long, that I should have spoken up sooner and told him, and when he ignored me, I should have been firmer and made it known I wouldn't tolerate her nasty attitude towards me.

I went to bed, listening to the rain and utterly exhausted. Mum was leaving tomorrow for a girl's bowling trip. That woman had more of a social life than I. It was good in a way though, her having friends and going out together on Fridays. I could see why she was so happy here. I didn't dare ask her about dating, knowing after what my father had put her through, it was no wonder she didn't want to think about dating.

Did I mention, that I was needing to pee every hour? I was, and it sucked.

The rain still bucketing down, didn't help as it brought back memories of the first night Ash and I had moved in together, in the house he built. The memories, aroused my inner desires. We'd spent the night, naked and making love for hours on end. His mouth had gone into overdrive, making sure I was left completely and utterly satisfied.

The joys of having sex.

I missed sex badly. Especially, sex with him. I had been so horny, wanting to just push him down into the bed, and ride the absolute hell out of him. Feeling his hands gripping my hips, my breasts fuller now, would be bouncing in his face as I leant down to kiss him. Jesus Christ. I wanted him to make love to me so badly.