Chapter Thirty-Eight

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That night I got back to the pack house, I went to bed angry. I knew he wouldn't care for Mason, how could he? A bastard child but, still mine. He was the one who convinced me have the baby,what changed his mind?

I placed Mason in his bassinet in our room and rocked him gently to sleep. I wish I could be able to see him. Maybe he didn't look like his father at all, maybe he would look more like me , maybe that would help.

I put myself underneath the comforter and rested against the pillow. As I was about to fall asleep I sensed him walking in. Ryder took an agitated sigh and I heard him taking off his shirt and going through a drawer. The bed side then dipped as he sat down on it. I pretended to sleep, most of the time it was successful because all I had to do was make my breathe shallow. I heard him turn off the bed side table lamp and then he always got under the covers. I knew he was facing me. His hand caressed my face a bit, the warm tingling sensation, prickled at me a bit.

The Mate bond has been weaker ever since I was pregnant, I could still feel what he was feeling, I just couldn't sense where he was if he was far or if he was hurt anymore. He sighed and then he spoke.

"I'm sorry I've been lying. I'm sorry my love. Ever since you, you've been- I haven't been myself with you. Your had my brother child, not mine. I thought I would've been your first and I'm sorry you weren't mine. The real truth is, and now I'm only able to tell your sleeping form, that you would've died if you lost the child. And I couldn't lose you again. I may hate the fact that a pup that is not mine is here in my room, belonging to my mate, but I will try" my heart stopped, for a second.

He's just trying to protect me. I made a deal with the devil when he was just trying to save me. Again. God I'm so stupid. I have to tell him. I have to.

"R-Ryder" he jumped a hit when he heard my voice.

"Em I thought you were asleep, how long have you been awake?"

"Ryder he came"

"Who came?"

"Right after you left he came to see Mason, he wanted to take him. He wanted to take my baby" I cried out and sat up in bed, he reached over turning in the light and set in front of me.

"Ramon came? How the hell did he get in?"

"He climbed through the window. He wants my p-pup. He said to meet him at the western border at 8:00 tomorrow" his heart seemed to slow and then he got up walking towards the door.

"Em stay here. I want you to lock all the windows and make sure no one gets in or you mindlink me, keep Mason safe"

He then ran out, the door shutting and locking it.

I waited. It might have been an hour till he gently knocked on the door. I put Mason back down as he had fell asleep. I opened the door and he grabbed at my face, pressing his lips to mine. I groaned at contact, pulling him even closer to me. I didn't even know wee were walking until the door slammed closed behind him. I heard the lock click and he pushed me up against the wall. He gripped my legs, lifting me up, his lips still fighting with mine. He then moved down towards my jaw, then to my neck.

I pulled at his hair and groaned as he hit the sweet spot nibbling on it. One stayed in his hair as my other hand, ran down his bare chest to his abs. He groaned this time, playing with the hem of my shirt. He was still working on my neck, probably going to leave a few love bites. I was slipping out of his grip but he slammed me against the wall again, a big thud sounding.

"R-Ryder..you'll..you'll wake the baby.." he squeezed at my butt and I moaned again.

"Then keep quiet love" he whispered huskily he then walked me over to bed. He trapped me in between his arms, kissing me again fiercely. He lifted the shirt over my head and stopped to stare. I wasn't wearing a bra, immediately my hand went up to cover them but he pulled them away.

"Don't you ever hide those from me!" He put my hands above my head. I gasped as he started to kiss them and he growled. "These are mine, no one else's" I whimpered a bit and his hand found its way to my shorts, playing with the waist band.

I suddenly felt disgusted. My memories flooded back to that night with Ramon.

I felt Ryder's hand take the waistband in his grip, slowly pulling it down. I slapped away his hand and pushed away from him. I grabbed a pillow putting it over my chest. My back pressed against the headboard, getting my distance from him.

"Em are you alright?" His voice was full of concern.

"R-Ryder im sorry..I-I just can't" the sting in my throat, meaning the waterworks were not going to hold much longer.

"Baby did I hurt you? Tell me what's wrong" I sensed him coming closer but I whimpered and curled up into a ball. He backed away and I relaxed a bit. I felt gross. I felt like the same feeling from two months ago was all over my skin. I started to rub my skin, maybe it would get off. I started to rub faster, the feeling, the dirtiness isn't going away.

"Em. Em stop your going to hurt yourself!" He ghabbed at my wrist as my skin stung.

"N-no I need to get it off, I need to get it off"

"Em your safe. There's nothing there"

"Get it off of me. Please" he picked me up running me into the bathroom. I heard the water go on and he placed me in the tub. Gently he grabbed a wash cloth and stared to wash my arms. I felt relief and sighed happily.

"Thank you" he then sighed as well.

"Your welcome Gem" he then kissed the top of my forehead.

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