Love To Hate Me

Open your eyes

I glare at him and say," What? I can't ask about your daughter?"
He says," You can. It's just....never mind."
I get into his rental car and buckle up hating the silence.
The radio gets turned up for the 30 mins of complete silence. I say," What's the point of us talking? If you aren't going to talk to me?"
He snaps and says," Everything is not about you."
Whelp that shut me up. I sit back feeling like a cool burst of cold air when down my back.
Craig pulls in to cute little lightened up place. He says," look I didn't mean that."
I sigh and say," Obviously you did."
He turns off the car then gets out making his way to open my door. I think wow he can hate me and still be a gentleman.,
I get out slowly and close my door as he stands away from me. He opens the front door waiting for me to go in.
I pass him to see a nice little cute restaurant. He comes behind me touching my waist as he goes and asks for a table.
The waitress bats her eyelashes and says," Right this way Mr.Mabbitt."
He mumbles," Craig." Her face drops as he grabs my hand following her to the nice little table.
I sit down across from him to see the waitress passing him a note. I think is this bitch serious. Craig rolls his eyes and puts on his seat.
He smiles at me and says," A little jealous?"
I laugh and say," Not even. We got to talk about this."
He runs his hand through his hair and says," I just want one last date before you break my heart."
I sigh in defeat and say," I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I just need to find myself and I thought you would want to make it work with your baby momma."
We awkwardly get quiet as the waitress says," What would you guys like to drink? Let's start with you handsome," turning and batting her eyes at him.
He smiles and says," I'll have a coke. She'll have the same," he winks at her.
I roll my eyes nonchalantly as she sways away. I look down at the menu pondering my options. I couldn't help but to feel sad. I really like Craig. Scratch that I really love him.
Craig studies my face and says," What are you thinking about?"
I smile and say," I want beef burritos."
Craig makes annoyed face and says," Cut the crap. Tell me what you are really thinking about."
I sigh and say," I am think about what I am going to say to you," as I slide my hands through my hair.
Craig face tenses as he remarks," About?"
I sigh as our food and drinks hit the table. I say," This."
He takes a bite before saying," This? You mean us. I wanted it to work and you are the one doing this."  He continues to eat his food as I left his words soak in.
I eat my food nearly rushing trying to break myself from this awkwardness.
He snorts," You know you don't have the right to do this?"
Slightly taken back, I say," What do you mean?"
Craig's fist hits the table causing me to jump. Craig says," You don't have the right to act like you care and sit here telling me you want to work on yourself. Do you want to work on yourself or Ronnie?"
He mumbles," This is fucking ridiculous. I didn't sleep with Gabby, but you sure as hell slept with him."
The waitress face was pale as hell as she walked up. She said," How is everything?"
I mumbled," great."
He replied," Fine."
She briskly left heading far away from this scene.
His raspy voice made me shiver. He said," are you not going to say anything? If not. I am done let's go."
I think to myself What is there left to say? I know who he thinks I am.
I softly say,"What do you want me to say? It's obvious what you think of Me. I get it you are over it."
His hands rest by his nearly empty plate. He breathes in and says," I want you to say something.  Anything to make me believe that this was worth my time. I knew this was a bad idea. Inviting you out. Liking you. Letting you meet my daughter. Fucking you. I just didn't want it to be like I was feeling in my head. Maybe that's on me? The stupid thing is I still fucking love and believe that you love me too."
I nod and think so that's how it's going to be.
We got to the front and pay the check. I walk outside regretting this whole encounter. He hasn't said one word to me.
I say," I fucking love you too."
Craig snorts and unlocks the car. I get in the passenger side and I watch as he grips the steering wheel. I look at him and say," You don't think I want to be with you?!"
He bites his bottom lip and says," Prove it. Let's just go back to living together."
I sigh and say," I can't. Not like this."
Craig pulls up to the venue and says," like what?"
I rub my head and say," the way you think of me. You basically called me a whore. You don't trust me. I am still confused. Ronnie is making anything easier."
He laughs and says," So I was right.  You still have feeling for him. Crazy for me to think otherwise. Get out of the car."
I roll my eyes and say," Are you fucking serious?! You are being ridiculous!"
His voice got darker and deeper than I have ever heard. He says," Get the fuck out of this car and my way. While you are at it lose my number. This will be the last time I ever let you pop in to my mind."
I say," Fuck you. Why do you make me get out?"
His grin spread as his grip tighten on the steering wheel. He quietly remarked," You don't want me to make you."
Those words sent chills down my spine. I open the door rushing back to the Of Mice and Men bus.
Austin looked at me emphatically. By this time, tears rolling down my face. I never felt so disrespected but guilty at the same time. How was I going to mad at Craig even if he did fuck her. I cheated with Ronnie early on.
X
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