Church Boy Gone Bad [Chanbaek/Baekyeol]

22. Four

His brain desperately scrambled to make sense of it all, the sight of Chanyeol shaking violently on the bed next to a pile of pills, empty pills bottles, needles and razors couldn't reach his mind.

Quivering, Baekhyun shook his head mutely,

this wasn't real,

how could it be.

"Chanyeol!!" 

Baekhyun screamed, his lungs feeling as if pierced through. It felt like as if his arms fell off his body, as if his body fell off his legs, as if he was limbless. He was loosing his mind. Again. He could feel it unraveling, the threads of every happy memory he could recall now a disarray of strings scattered around him. 

The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was just gone. Everything was lifeless, colorless, empty.

This was a joke.

"Chanyeol!" He screamed once again, this time with a more fearful, shaking sound in his voice.

It couldn't be.

He dashed towards the unconscious male. A small part of him had feared all of this, and a bigger part of him wanted to desperately convince himself that everything was perfect, that everything was fine.

Chanyeol had been doing fine.

How?

Not exactly knowing what to do in a situation that traumatic, he started pulling Chanyeol towards him, holding him tightly, trying to stop the shaking.

Chanyeol wasn't breathing properly.

Why?

"You're an idiot! Such an idiot!" Baekhyun yelled, his body in pain, his heart in pain. "I hate you!" He could feel his heart throbbing inside his chest as the tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face, ruining his pretty features. "I hate you!" He screamed between raw cries.

The former scars on his arms had been reopened, bloody track marks were gracing his skin the most horrible way, and the marks looked worse than ever.

Chanyeol looked worse than ever. 

Baekhyun finally came to notice it in that very moment.

It was as if the truth got roughly smacked right in his face.

It was as if the colored glasses blinding him got suddenly pulled off his face, as if the curtain preventing him from perceiving reality got finally lifted off his mind. 

Chanyeol's face seemed sharper, seemed colorless and lifeless, his body was pale, he was in fact skinnier than ever. He wasn't the same anymore, he was different, he looked broken. Baekhyun felt the muscles of his own chin tremble like a small child, the sudden shock strangling him. 

Baekhyun kept calling his name softly while touching his face lovingly. It felt cold. "Chanyeol, it's me," he whispered in a broken tone, "what did you do..." There was a smudge of dried blood below Chanyeol's nose.

"Wake up..." Baekhyun breathed, his voice quivering painfully. Chanyeol's body was moving slightly but weakly. He collapsed against him.

And he sobbed into his chest incessantly, shaking hands clutching at his shirt. He held him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked his chest. "Wake up!"

The sound of a ringtone then blared out, Chanyeol's ringtone. Baekhyun lifted his head and though his mind was still in peaces, Baekhyun desperately reached out for the device, his quivering body impeding the movement. They needed help, Chanyeol needed help.