Hope for Our Ass After All

s e v e n

hercules

"Alex, get your and John's asses out here. We picked where to go."

Alexander stepped out of the room, snorting at his phone. "Yeah? Where?"

Hercules glanced at Lafayette. "The zoo!"

"The zoo? It's November. It's freezing," whined John, but Hercules ignored him.

"Get your jackets on, mes amies. This'll be fun." Lafayette grinned and headed into his and Hercules' room to get his own jacket. Hercules started to follow him and grab his newly-sewn sweater—but paused and glanced back at Alex and John.

Alex turned to glance at John, and realized that the latter was staring at him. "Hey, you okay?" he murmured, waving his hand in John's face. John blinked in surprise and Hercules snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. It's fine anyway, I like the view." He turned and trotted into Alex and John's room, leaving Alex to stare after him.

Hercules hiccuped from trying not to laugh. Holy shit. Did John just say that? To Alexander?

He grinned goofily and scrambled into his room, whipping out his phone and glancing at Lafayette.

"Dude," he snorted under his breath. "Check your messages."

hercules & peggy & lafayette
Alex is Gay for John
horses aren't my type: guys,,,,,
pegleg: yeah?
french baguette: why are you smiling like that??? what happened????
horses aren't my type: john just stared at alex and went "i like the view"
pegleg: holy ducktruckfuckstuck
french baguette: damn
french baguette: ok but what does ducktruckfuckstuck mean
horses aren't my type: it means 'fuck'
french baguette: oh
pegleg: dude they're so hilariously oblivious
pegleg: they need to kiss right now
pegleg: even tho my sister is obsessed with alex
horses aren't my type: who? eliza?
pegleg: oh look i gotta go

Hercules glanced up at Lafayette, who struggled. "Let's stalk them around the zoo," the Frenchman suggested. "Have us split up and then follow them around."

"Yes, sir. I like the way you think," Hercules joked, high-fiving his french roommate and grabbing his jacket.

—
john

The four buddies approached the zoo in Hercules's Mustang.
[wink wink 😉 horses]

Alex hopped out as soon as possible.

John followed suit. He didn't know why he'd said that. Maybe it was true, but it was hella weird and was probably the reason Alex had just escaped the vehicle.

Lafayette and Hercules were walking behind them and giggling like a group of ten-year-old girls, occasionally glancing up at Alexander and John and then bursting into laughter again.

John glanced at Alex. "Dude, they're buddying up pretty well. Text Peggy."

Alexander glanced behind him. "Yeah, you're right. You can text Peggy."

"No, you're gonna." John's eye twinkled mischievously for a second before he shoved Alex whole-heartedly.

Alex froze, and John worried that he did something wrong.

And then Hamilton glanced up at Laurens and whispered, "It's on."

The two got into a full-blown catfight, while Hercules and Lafayette watched.

He noticed Lafayette videotaping it, but he was too absorbed in his own little world to care.

They stopped fighting at the gate, where Hercules paid and they stepped through.

Immediately, they started again.

After three minutes of "No, you!", John realized that both the Frenchman and Irishman were no longer in sight.

"We lost them."

Alexander stopped fighting. "They're together. Alone. Probably making out in the bathroom somewhere," he snorted.

John cracked up. "I don't doubt it. Hey, whatever. We can walk around. They have phones, we can find them easily enough."

And Alex and John headed off into the zoo, to the amusement of their stalkers in the bushes behind them.

—
lafayette

"Yes, yes, mon ami. This is... how you say... perfect." He laughed and Hercules hit him on the shoulder lightly.

"Did you hear what they said about us?"

"What, that we're making out in the bathroom? Sure, mon ami, let them believe what they want." Lafayette motioned for Hercules to stand and creep after them.

Boy, wouldn't it be great if John and Alex were right...? Lafayette snorted at his own thoughts. "They're heading for the turtles."