Hello Sergeant (Bucky Barnes)

Over and over

A/N <anything between the arrows is in Russian>
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Steve's POV

"I need to get cleaned up and then we'll talk, Barton." I needed to calm down or I was going to say something I was going to regret. Clint nodded slightly, avoiding my eyes.

I stormed out of Maria's office to the locker room, stripping quickly and getting in the shower. I let the hot water relax me, calming me down somewhat. My first lucid thought was thank God Bucky didn't complete the motion or Sarah wouldn't be here. When I finally had a leash on my temper, I turned off the water and dried off, putting on my street clothes. Clint was waiting for me when I walked in, sitting down and watching Bucky, who was still out. 

"Can you at least tell me why?" I said quietly, standing across from him and watching his body language. "I think I deserve to know what was going through your head considering I just knocked Bucky out to keep him from actually killing someone – most likely Sarah."

He looked up at me, his blue eyes hesitantly meeting mine. "I'm sorry, Steve. I don't know what else to say."    

"Are you seeing Maria? Because a heads up would have prevented this whole thing."

"No." He fell silent for a moment. "I shouldn't have provoked him like that."

"Why did you, Clint? You know how he is about Sarah."

"I do know. But it seemed like he's taking everyone I care about from me. First Sarah, then Nat, and now Maria - I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Clint," I said, taking a quick breath. "Trust me, I get how you feel – you illustrated that quite clearly when you kissed Sarah like that in front of me."

He winced at the realization that by trying to strike at Bucky, he'd struck out at me, too. "Sorry, Steve. I wasn't thinking; I'm probably lucky you didn't try to kill me too."

"The thought did cross my mind – after the shock wore off. It's been a long, exhausting day for all of us and I'm not sure we shouldn't talk about this tomorrow instead."

He shook his head at the suggestion. "I think we need to finish this tonight, otherwise we never will. I just lost my head for a moment when I walked in and saw him kissing Maria like that." Clint exhaled loudly, meeting my eyes. "It should've been me, Steve  –  he was going for me when Sarah blocked him."

"Then we'd be arranging a funeral, Clint," I said roughly, sitting down in the chair beside him. "That would be even worse because we could've prevented it and you've been Bucky's friend since he returned." I ran my hand over my face, looking down at the prone body on the floor. "I'm just glad we kept him from doing something I know he'd regret when he calmed down."

"Me, too. I sure wasn't acting like a very good friend tonight, was I?"

I'd had a thought in my head since the first moment when he's acted so out of character tonight. "Clint, this wasn't like when Loki was in your head this spring, was it? Because this wasn't like you at all."

"No – I just felt so much anger – like I needed to hurt someone, even while Sarah was blocking James. He's a determined bastard when he wants to be."

"Language," I said out of habit, laughing at Clint's expression when I said it.

Clint huffed out a laugh. "Sorry, Steve."

"I felt it, too. I've only felt that angry once before – when I thought Hydra had killed Bucky. And it was exactly like you said – I needed to hurt someone, badly. That's not me, Clint."