Military Girl

Chapter 16

"Look at me! For fucks sake, Dad. Look at me! This is something that I want to do! I need to do!" Yup. I had fully lost it this time. He shrunk back at my words. I didn't show this side very often, especially to my family. It almost seemed like I had managed to scare him. Scare the General. That was pretty much impossible. No one ever scared him at all. Unless he was about to be killed, then he was fearless, just about. He muttered something. "What did you say?" I snapped.

He sighed. "I said that it wasn't a very good idea."

"Not a good idea? Are you kidding me? Please tell me you're joking!" My voice was raised far too high for a hospital room but I couldn't help it. No one came to stop me or tell me to be quiet so I didn't need to. The, now trembling, man in front of me shook his head. "Jesus Christ Dad! It's all I've wanted to do for years! I miss them! It's not like if I was younger and didn't remember them! I do and I miss them a lot! A number of nights that I will lay in bed crying because I miss them so god damn much! And it's just so much worse knowing that I go to the same school as Mitch now. I see him every fucking day but I can never tell him who I am!" The tears burned crevices into my cheeks. Each drop created a crater whenever it landed. I sobbed. I ugly sobbed. It went everywhere. My eyes were puffy and red and my nose was running, getting it all everywhere. I wrapped my knees up to my face and hid my face in it. "I hate you. I hate you. A real father would see how much it meant. You're obviously not a real father. You obviously don't care." I didn't mean it. Not as much as I thought I did. I was upset. I needed to see Jenna and, in my mind, that was the best way to do it. I had to get it. I just had to. I didn't care how irrational I was being. I just sat there. The duvet was wrapped up over my knees, my face buried in it. I sat there, crying and wishing that I hadn't left the Grassi family, just thinking about how much I missed them. How much I needed them in my life again. How I was so close to Mitch yet I felt further away than when he still lived in Texas.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, it was dark and I was alone again. I groaned. I pushed myself up into a more comfortable sitting position. I stretched my knees and back from the position that I had fallen asleep in. I looked at the small table that was next to my bed. I grabbed it and switched it on. I squinted at the sudden bright light. I shook my head and waited for my eyes to adjust before checking the time. Half past three. I groaned again but noticed that my phone had a notification. It was from the messenger app. Who would be texting me at this time? I looked again at the notification and realised that it had actually been sent about four hours ago. That made a little more sense. I tapped it then put my passcode in and opened my phone. It immediately opened the text. It was from Dad. I hesitated before reading the message. What if it said that there was no question about it and it was always going to be no. I took a deep breath and read it.

I'm sorry. You were right. You may see your sister. I didn't realise that it hurt you so much. I'll ring them back tomorrow. Rest and don't worry. Xx

I smiled and shut my phone back off, a headache forming from the light. I knew that I needed to get more sleep but I was so happy that it seemed impossible. I decided, eventually, to turn on the tiny tv that the hospital provided. I didn't know what there would be that I could watch without being upset. The news was out of the question, they would probably be covering the fire still and as much as I wanted to know who was out of the building, I didn't want to see the events happening again. I found a movie playing. The Fault in our Starts by John Green. Sure, it wasn't the happiest movie of all time but it was beautiful and I needed something to watch.