More than this / Solby ✔

#15

Sam was very aware that he probably looked like a madman, rushing down the street instead of just taking acab , but he couldn't really think logically right now.

He was more than eaten up with guilt over the fact that Katrin had at some point found out about Colby. It hurt to know he’d hurt her. But it could have been so much worse. He was so grateful to know a girl like her. He hoped she'd forgive him one day.

However, those thoughts were for another time. Right now all he could think about was Colby and how he was going to apologize to him. How he was going to convey his feelings for him. Completely. And, well, not run away afterwards.

Sam nearly tripped on his way up the stairs and fumbled with his coat to get his keys out so he could unlock their door. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure their neighbor wasn't there for whatever reason before pushing into the apartment. He bounded his way up to the kitchen and dropped his thinks on the table.

“Colby?”

The brunette was nowhere to be seen in the lounge, so he immediately headed to the bedrooms. He glanced at his door, shook his head, then knocked on Colby’s.

He paused, listening, but was met with silence. “Colby? I'm sure you're angry at me, but I need to talk to you.” There was another lack of response. Sam sighed, leaning his head against the door.

He twisted the knob, letting the door creak open as quietly as possible as he peered into the room. His eyes fell to the lump under the duvet, a gentle rise and fall signalling that he was asleep.

Sam smiles softly, entering the bedroom and shutting the door with a tiny click . He climbed into the bed, placing a hand on the snoozing boy and shaking him gently.

“Colby, wake up, please,” he whispered, leaning away when the other’s breath hitched and he started to sit up.

Colby rubbed his eyes, blinking away his bleary vision and looking over to the person who's interrupted his much needed sleep.

And he nearly punched him when he saw Sam.

“Why did you have to wake me up? Can you not just get your stuff, leave, and act like you were never here?”

Sam frowned. “No, I can't.”

Colby’s eyes turned to slits and he scoffed. He swung his legs around and off the bed, tossing his duvet back into Sam’s face. He stood up, stretching, “Okay, well, you woke me up. That doesn't mean I'm helping you move-”

“I'm not moving out, Colby.”

The brunette’s mouth snapped shut and, he looked down at Sam with wide eyes. He was silent, couldn't bring himself to say anything. So, Sam continued.

“Katrina and I broke up.”

“ What?! ” That snapped Colby out of his mini trance, and he sat down in front of his best friend.

“Why? Everything seemed to be going great. I-I mean you were moving out and engaged and….and I don't get this.”

“She found out about, uh, the friends with...benefits thing. Well, its more like she always knew?” Sam shook his head, looking up to meet Colby’s eyes.

“Look, at some point she figured it out, and she told me she just kept preteneding because...she just wanted to be happy. However, in doing that, she said...she was keeping me from being happy. So, we broke up. She dislikes me pretty bad right now, and she didn't forgive me. But she was calm about it. She said maybe she could forgive me, but not now. Then she sent me off to do something...important.”

Colby was at complete loss for words, and he ran his fingers through his hair. He coughed, “I can't believe she knew. I feel so bad, I never wanted to…”

“I know. Neither did I. But the point is, I made a mistake and I messed up and I hurt her when I should have just…”

“Pushed me away.”

“Broke up with her, actually.” Sam scooted closer to Colby, who gave him a confused look as his hands were taken. “Because I wasn't lying when I said I loved you.”

Colby jerked his hands away, standing up quickly and rubbing harshly into his temples. “Sam, I swear to God!” He paced back and forth, only stopping when his arms were taken and he was spun to face his friend again.

“You expect me to just say I love you back after you played me and ran out on me after telling me you're engaged and moving and also that you loved me?” Colby was shaking ever so slightly, and the grip on him loosened. “Because I am a huge idiot who does love you, too...you know?”

Sam was trembling a bit himself, and he dropped his head onto Colby’s shoulder. He breathed shallowly, trying to stop himself from getting any more emotional than he already was.

“Is this the important thing Katrina needed you to do?’’ Colby felt a nod against his shoulder, and he laughed bitterly. “You're both terrible idiots.”

“I love you, Colby.”

“I love you, too.”

______________________

“I just kinda figured it out over the span of that whole...agreement. You, and I hate to put it this was, were sorta like my spare...partner. I mean, we went on dates that Katrina missed and kissed, danced, laughed, had...sex. It was already like dating you. I realized how much I liked it, too. It was scary and dangerous and I had been with Katrina so long I couldn't bring myself to suddenly end it with her. Why? I don't know. So, I pushed you away. I pushed you away and pulled her close and tried to reconnect that feeling I had in the beginning but it was impossible because I kept thinking about you. I'm sorry I put you through hell. I'm sorry to Katrina, that I hurt her, but we both were pretending. We just didn't know that the other was, I guess? That doesn't matter now, though.”

Sam had Colby lying against him on the sofa, having been forced into explaining everything after they'd cuddled in pure bliss for an hour. The older boy intertwined their hands.

“I regret a lot of what happened over this past...geez, year? But I can't go back and fix it. We just have to let time mend things.”

Colby nodded, pulling his boyfriend  down for a kiss. “Now it's about you and I. I won't mess this up. I swear on it.”
 
The brunette rolled his eyes. “You better not. Because if you go finding some other person to fool around with and then fall in love with them, I won't be as sweet as Katrina. I’m mean.”

Sam nodded with a roll of his eyes and Colby settled back to lying on his chest.

“You're an idiot and you're terrible and everything you put me through, not to mention Kat, was terrible and horrible. But I am in a place to forgive more easily. I love you.”

There was a gentle silence before Colby spoke again.

“Besides, you don't need another best friend or lover.”

“Trust me, you’re the love of my life.” Sam started, tangling a hand into Colby’s hair. “And if anyone asks, you're my best friend.”