I Am Ruined (TDA Lord of Shadows Sequel)

[ I ] Pain Demands to be Felt

Hello fellow TDA fans! Just a heads up, this first chapter is really slow and depressing but I promise things will pick up, but it has to be included. Comments and votes are always appreciated!
Do not read if you haven't read Lord of Shadows (or if you care about spoilers at least)

Today was the day. Julian could feel it, as if the air around him was so tight he couldn't breathe. Each breath was constricted, trapped in his throat. He shot up, panicked once again. Just like every other time he tried to sleep the past few days. He thought that maybe after today it would get better, but that was false hope and he knew it. The sheets were tangled around his legs as he struggled to take in air, gulping like a fish out of water. Warm hands settled on his shoulders, their touch calming him enough so he could breathe.

"Julian," Her voice sounded far away and he reached for it, like an anchor that kept him grounded in sanity, "I'm here, you're okay. I will always be here." The softness of her hair caressed his back as she leaned her forehead against his shoulder comfortingly. He leaned back into her desperately trying to alleviate the pressure behind his eyes. He squeezed them shut, only to replay the events of that wretched day again.

***

"Livvy, sweetheart, please come back to me." Julian's arms were wrapped around Livvy's limp body, hands brushing feverishly through her bloody hair. The blood was everywhere now, soaked into the dais as well as all of Julian's clothes. The clock began tolling and Emma couldn't maintain her strength any longer. Her legs gave out and she fell to her knees, tears flowing freely through the dirt and blood on her face. She wanted to move closer, try and comfort but she couldn't find the control over her body. She couldn't tear her eyes away from Livvy's lifeless ones now. The Blackthorn blue that was so much like Julian's was staring straight ahead, focusing on nothing. You could feel the absence of her soul. Livvy; who was so full of light and energy, who wanted to spend her life taking care of other people just like her big brother – was gone. It ripped a hole through Emma's chest which was only further destroyed when she looked at Julian. He was no longer brushing his hands through her hair begging her to come back, he was cradling her head into his neck as he whispered to her through sobs. Julian, who would do anything to protect his family. People called him ruthless and he never denied it, knowing that if it meant keeping his family safe he would spare nothing and no one. And after all of that, here he was holding his sister's lifeless body in his arms praying to the angel for her to come back. He was broken.

Ty was on the floor in the aisle, on his knees staring at the sight ahead of him. All the sounds and lights that always seemed to overwhelm him were muted for once. And it was worse. He wished for the clamor now, anything to distract him from the unbearable pain. His hands were pressed into his chest as if he could push the pain out. His face felt wet but he could not even focus enough to know if it was blood or tears. Suddenly, two different colored eyes appeared in front of him – blackthorn blue and gold.

"Ty, Ty, look at me." Mark was in front of him, his hands grasped tightly on Ty's shoulders, the pressure of it pulling Ty into the present. Ty looked at him and felt the water drip onto his hands; so he was crying. Mark pulled him up on his feet, hugging him tight to his chest. Ty embraced him back but as soon as Mark tried to push him towards the doorway, he panicked.

"No! NO I'M NOT LEAVING! Not without Livyy." Mark was whispering to him now, trying to calm him, but the clamor of the room came back and he regretted ever wishing for it. It fed into his panic as he clawed at Mark to let go of him, sobs wracking his body. "LIVVY! LIV!" He called her name until his throat was raw and then suddenly everything began to fade. Confused, Ty looked back at Mark who was holding a stele to his arm.