I Am Ruined (TDA Lord of Shadows Sequel)

[ XXXXIII ] Justice of the Angels

Julian was sitting on the edge of Emma's bed, Jem standing at the foot of it. He hadn't wanted to raise any panic or anything of the sort while Emma was still hurt and so he and Jem brought Emma up to her room where they laid her down and washed off the extra blood with a rag. Jem had been silent as Julian tended to her, applying warming runes and more blood replacement runes. Her eyes were still closed, but her breathing was steady as if she were sleeping. Finally, Jem broke the silence.

"Julian, what happened?" His voice was gentle as he settled down at the foot of the bed, "What happened at the battle?"

He stood up now, exchanging his bloody shirt for a clean one from one of the drawers; Emma always had a tendency of taking his clothes and he could always count on finding them in her room. With a sigh he turned and leaned against the dresser, eyes never leaving Emma's sleeping form as he spoke, "Clary, she had shown me a rune. A rune sent to her by the Angels. She said it haunted her dreams and whenever she saw it she could feel an aura of death – like she was dying. She gave it to me to use only as a last resort because she didn't know what it would do to me. She didn't want me to use it, but Emma got distracted and one of the Riders stabbed her in the leg," He winced at the memory, "It was bad. She couldn't walk and we couldn't use runes, then the Unseelie King came with gentry and had the Black Volume. We didn't know what he was chanting, what he was planning on doing. We couldn't fight them and I didn't want to wait to see whatever he was doing with the book come to fruition. So I took Cortana – it was the one thing that could kill the riders it seemed. I etched the rune into the blade and it began to glow and burn so I plunged it into the ground between the riders and the Unseelie King. Then everything went white." He went silent for a moment, his mind trying to sort through memories – of what was real. He continued in a lower voice, "I didn't know what Clary had meant when she described the feeling of death – but I felt it then. It felt as if I was empty, nothing inside my body but a soul trying to break free. I thought I was dead, but I could feel a burning here," He pointed to his collarbone where his parabatai rune was faded, "And I knew I couldn't be dead because I was feeling things. I looked around me and couldn't see anything but the white light and I realized what it was – Heavenly fire. It was a rune of heavenly fire."

Jem was letting him speak, he did not want to interrupt, but he noticed Emma's breath catch. He didn't think she was sleeping anymore. Julian continued, "The Riders and the King, I heard them scream – and I remembered what Emma had said she felt when she killed Fal-"

"That it felt like death, like I had died." Emma interjected quietly, startling Julian, "When you kill something as old as time itself it feels cold – like death."

He moved to sit next to her now, brushing her hair back from her face, "Em-"

"Continue. Tell me what happened." She said, and so he did.

"I realized that feeling came because the Riders were dead, but I was not. I was alive, but I couldn't move. I was caught up in the flames, as if they were holding me and burning me from the inside. It was unbearable and I thought that maybe I was not good enough to survive – maybe deep down I was evil. I have been told my heart was ruthless," Emma held his hand in hers gently as he spoke, his voice unsure, "But the flames died and I did not. But my rune was bleeding – I was terrified that you had died, Em. I panicked. But then I saw you, sitting on the ground screaming."

Jem murmured something under his breath, and Julian and Emma both looked to him. He looked back up and repeated, "Heavenly Fire burns away all that is evil. Your parabatai bond was cursed. It was evil. The fire burned it away."

Realization dawned on them as they looked to their skin; the scar settled there. Julian let out a breath, "So we're not parabatai. We're not parabatai, Em." Her face lit up like the sun and he pulled her face towards him in a passionate kiss, her arms instantly reaching for him. Jem smiled faintly before getting up and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. Tears had begun to fall from Emma's face, Julian's hands coming away wet.