instagram // irwin

57.

mia's pov

"you look hot, girl! damn!" madison exclaimed as i climbed into the passenger seat of her car. 

i smiled and shrugged. "you're forcing me to come to this shit party, i might as well look good while im there."

"i am so excited, mia. you have no idea. our first party together as best friends!" she smiled, and i just shook my head, amused by her statement. "what? you're not excited?"

"its not that, madison. im just nervous. i get insane when i'm drunk, and im most likely going to do something i'll regret." i said. 

"well, don't dwell on it! I'll make sure you don't do anything crazy tonight, okay? it's going to be so much fun, i promise." she assured.  

"im counting on you." 

we pulled up to what i guess was the party, and i was right. it was in an apartment building, which wasn't surprising since it was in new york city, but the apartment itself was big enough to comfortably fit the humungous group of people that kept straying in. 

madison and i found our way to the drinks, and i hesitantly picked one up. i knew i really shouldn't be getting drunk tonight, but luke wouldn't be here, so i should be fine, right? 

"i'm gonna go find myself a guy." madison said, shouting over the music. it was surprising this place didn't have a noise complaint yet, maybe the other residents were just used to it. 

"sounds good! have fun!" i shouted back to her, taking a sip of whatever alcohol i was given by her. 

"i will! and remember, no boys! you have ashton!" and with that she was snaking her way through the crowd to make the best of a night she probably won't remember the next morning. 

i sighed and leaned against the counter. the party was pretty boring so far, for me at least. everyone else seemed to be having an amazing time, but i didn't know anyone here except madison, and she was gone. 

i debated leaving multiple times, but i couldn't just leave. madison was alone with a guy she just met, and if anything happened while i was gone i would never forgive myself. 

so i kept drinking and thinking, standing in the same spot the whole night.  my legs were getting tired and i could feel the excessive amount of alcohol i was drinking taking over my system. 

i took a long look at the people at the party. there were so many girls and boys dancing and kissing and looking like they were having the time of their lives. and so i remembered ashton. 

ashton irwin, who i betrayed. i got it on with his best friend while drunk and for what? absolutely nothing. luke is an amazing guy, but i didn't like him like that. i never did. so why did i choose him? 

and why haven't i told ashton yet? 

keeping it a secret isn't right, no matter what happens. i will never be able to keep it between luke, michael, and i for much longer. the guilt is already eating me away as it is. 

i put my drink down on the counter and stood up straight, wobbling a little from standing the same way the whole night. i made sure my bag was still around my shoulder and clutched tight to it as i pushed through the hoards of people dancing against each other and out of the building. 

i stood as the sidewalk and decided to text madison first. i didn't want her to worry

mia: 
 

i left hte partyu. sorry

and then i thought about ashton. should i text him and tell him, or call him? 

i finally decided to text him. i couldn't stand to hear his voice when i told him. and i didn't want to hear him get mad. 

mia: 
im sorry 

mia: 
pleasae dint hate me

mia:
I didbt mean to

ashton:
what are you going on about, m? are you okay?

mia:
no I dont know how to get home & I did sometjong bad I'm so sorry ahton i love uou

ashton:
mia, calm down. where are you?

mia:
I dont know ash but I have to tell u something please I cwnt keep it a secret from you anymore

ashton:
mia call me please, you're making me worried

mia:
no I can't call you it'll make everything worse

mia:
listen to me olease

ashton:
I will listen to you if you promise you will call me after, okay?

mia:
im not sure you'll want to call me agyer I tell you

ashton:
I promise I will still call you and help you no matter what you tell me, okay? it could be the worst thing in the world and I will still help you.

mia:
okay

mia:
I had sex eith luke ashton

mia:
we were drunk at thr club after ur show & we just left and that's all we remembered the next thing we knew we were naked on my bed and there wad a condom and everything and I regret everythi gn g I don't love luke I love you I don't know why I did it I don't know why luke did it either it wasn't his fault though please dnt get mad at him get mad at the both of us it es the worst mistake I've ever made on my life I'm so sotry

ashton:
okay.

ashton:
I am going to call you now.

ashton:
we will talk about this when you are at home safe and not drunk. 

mia:
you don't have to call me

but then my phone rang. ashton. at this point I was sitting on the curb, tears streaming down my face. I had no clue where i was, and now ashton hated me. great.

"hello?" I said, my voice shaking.

"mia, what street are you on?" ashton asked.

"uh, let me look." I answered, and saw a street sign on the corner. "I'm on fifth avenue."

"okay. michael, can you do a google maps from fifth avenue to mia's place?" ashton then told michael my address. "I'll be right back. tell mia where to go. thank you."

"mia, what did you do?" michael said through the phone, sounding extremely tired.

"I had to tell him, michael. I had to." I said, starting to cry again.

"you do realize he's about to go talk to luke, right? he's pissed."

"no! I told him not to get mad at luke. please don't let him get mad at luke, michael!" I exclaimed to him, and michael took a deep breath.

"I'll try my best. Now let's work on getting you back home, okay?" michael said calmly.

"okay."

a/n: so ashton knows now!! how do you think he's gonna react? I'm very very sorry for taking a while to update, I had finals this week and end of year parties and graduation parties to attend, so I haven't had time to really sit down and write. but summer is finally here which means more updates yay!!! thank u all so much for reading -m.