Kiss with a fist (completed)

Chapter 29: Over My Head

I’m in the middle of an intense staring contest against a puppy, and it’s winning.

“You’re supposed to run after it.” I stress after repeatedly pointing at the bright yellow tennis ball that has landed to the other side of the living room.

Dwight’s response is to tilt his head and yawn before making heartbreaking whimpering noises while hopping, indicating that he wants to jump on the couch. His legs are too short to do the task so I give in and place him on my lap.

This dog has a habit of getting what it wants.

“Here’s your pancakes, I hope you enjoy them.” Alex winks as he passes me a delicious looking food filled plate and silverware. The pancakes are the perfect golden brown hue, while the fresh fruit on the side adds a pop of color. It tricks me into thinking I’m eating healthy if I quickly eat the crispy bacon that’s calling out to me first.

“Thanks for breakfast, but you really didn’t have to make this.” I had to keep telling him that I wasn’t hungry after he questioned me twenty times. But stubborn him wouldn’t let it go. I’m basically being forced fed.

Not that I mind now that my appetite has returned full force.

“You didn’t eat all day yesterday Jen.” Alex reminds me as he sits to the right of me. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“We already did.” I mumble as I chew on a piece of bacon.

After I left Ann’s place, I decided to come straight here. I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but as soon as I saw Alex, I burst into tears and filled him in on the events. Apparently I can’t keep anything from him nor control my emotions when I find out my best friend lied to me.

He looked angry when I told him about the Stephen part but kept quiet as I rambled on with the rest. I think he knew I needed to vent first. When I got to Ann and the relation to James, he was surprised and held me as I continued to process it all.

Ann hasn't called or texted which has been a benefit since I think I would just become angry.

After my personal pity party, I tried to figure out what the next step was. Do I forgive her? Do I never speak to her again? I can’t exactly google the answer, it's too complicated.

We discussed it from both sides and I asked Alex to lobby for Ann since I was stubborn on my stance. Yet at the same time I wanted to understand her side of things.

After hours of pondering, I understood some of her reasons. I know if she would have told me from the start, we would have never became friends. I can also see why she would be scared to tell me considering how I reacted. But regardless, it doesn’t change that she omitted an important fact.

I was so exhausted from basically arguing with myself, I fell asleep on Alex’s living room couch that I’m currently habitating on before he carried me to his room. Maybe it was a good thing I slept here since I didn’t feel like dealing with Rebecca on top of it all. I can’t believe she helped Stephen. I don’t know if I should kick her out the apartment. It’s under my name so I have the ability if I decide too. At the same time, I would have to pay the full rent which isn’t cheap.

Everything just sucks at the moment.

“It won’t be this way for long. Eventually this whole thing will pass. I promise. In the meantime, you have me.” Alex speaks up beside me.

“Did I say that out loud? I didn’t mean too.” This always seems to happen to me at one point or another.

“It’s fine. You kind of zoned out then muttered about things sucking. Dwight took advantage and ate a piece of bacon that was hanging off your plate as you lowered it.”