We Shadows

Chapter 24: as I am an honest Puck

Levi didn't feel good about storming out on Dylan, but he couldn't stay with her looking so desperately at him, as if he was the one who kept throwing barricades between them. He needed to apologize; he had said really hurtful things for the sake of hurting Dylan. The cognitive dissonance between loathing himself and being angry at her kept him walking up and down the corridors, the thudding of his crutches punctuating his pounding heart.

"Levi! Corlevi Hark!"

He stopped; he hadn't heard his full name in a long time. Alcott was at the intersection of the next corridor with her hands on her hips. He smiled faintly when he saw her and then immediately felt guilty about it. He didn't smile when he saw Dylan nowadays, he just didn't want to talk to her.

"Hey," he managed. "What wrong?"

"You've been stomping down the halls long enough," she said. "Come over and let's talk."

"Alcott, I'm not sure talking is the best idea," he sighed. "It's basically how I'm in this state. I think I just want to walk."

"You're going to fall over. Stop being difficult and come on."

She took his arm and steered him down the hallway to her berth and sat him down on the couch. Levi slumped in the couch and stared at the wall, replaying what he had said to Dylan. The crushed look on her face.

"Stop it," Alcott ordered and handed him a glass of water. "Look, I don't even want to know what happened. Tell me how you feel."

"I feel like a terrible person," he said, sighing. "You know, any normal guy would be happy that his partner has moved back into the berth, and she's back on congress and doing things that she cares about, but I don't think the things Dylan cares about actually include me, you know? Seasons, she wouldn't say two words to me three weeks ago, and now she's found energy to take Dashiell? Seriously?"

"Oh Levi."

Alcott sat beside him and he rested his head against her shoulder as she wrapped her arm around him.

"I wish things could be normal for you," she said. "But you aren't a normal guy. You're Levi Hark. First person born in space. You have codes to the base, dead languages, and plays stored in your brain. You know you're special."

"You sound like my mother," he scoffed.

"Then your mother sounds like a wise person," Alcott replied and smoothed his hair out of his face. "So what are you going to do about Dylan? You can't leave things how they are."

"How did you know to come find me?" Levi asked, sitting up to frown at her.

"Dylan messaged Tyson and Tyson messaged me," she explained. "She tried to cancel playing baskets later and he went to find what was really wrong."

"Oh. Merci."

Levi settled back against Alcott's shoulder, finding the position comforting.

"So?" she prompted. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to message Walsh and ask to stay there for the night," he told her. "And tomorrow, when I've had a chance to calm down and think about what I want to say, I'll message Dylan and see if we can talk." He frowned. "Alcott, you know you're not a Dylan stand in, right?"

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"We became close recently, but I don't want you to think when Dylan and I work things out that we won't be friends anymore. I love her, but I care about you too." He smiled up at her. "And I'm looking forward to being a godfather."