ABDUCTED (a BTS Crackfic)

||P R O L O G U E ||

JUNGKOOK

"AW SHIT!" I barely had enough time to haul myself up from the ground before another laser beam obliterated the garden just inches behind me. The giant fire breathing Satan monster that somehow emerged from Taehyung's body had reduced the pretty metropolis into fire in ruble in the five minuets he's been alive.

And now he apparently has laser eyes, thanks to the author's imagination.

"Fucking Taehyung," Jimin mumbled, dashing behind me with his guns pivoted to the giant spaceships hovering above.  "If he worked as hard as he does destroying cities in his cleanliness, he would be the new Mr. Clean."

I stopped in my tracks, finally having enough of Jimin's annoying complaining. "Goddammit Jimin! Can you just fucking shut your ass up?! Now's not the time and-!"

Jimin's eyes went wide as his brown eyes focused on something behind me. "Jungkook-"

"No! Don't you 'Jungkook' me! I don't give a fuck! I'm tired of baby sitting your coconut head-ass! So lets just find our hyungs and get the fuck out of this place, okay?!" I kicked a piece of debris that looked kind of like a dead bird just to prove my point.

There was a loud screech in the behind me followed by the sound of giant Satan footsteps.

"Jungkook, look out!" Jimin screamed in a little bitch voice.

I only had a split second to look up and see the bottom of a whole fucking McDonald's falling from the sky. Jimin's eyes urged for me to run, but it was no use, the McDonald's was too fucking big to run from under anyways.

We'd be dead in a matter of seconds.

Taking this last few moments I had to live, I took Jimin's hands and looked deep into the moochi's eyes. "Look, Jimin, I just want to say that since we're about to get squashed by a McDonald's and die, that I'm sorry I've been an asshole to you these passed couple years. I've just only been jealous of you and Taehyung together and I kinda just felt like the third wheel. I'm sorry."

Jimin's eyes softened and he wrapped his hand tighter around mine. "It's okay, Jungkook. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you a lot through this whole thing and-"

"You don't have to say anything." A tear rolled away from the corner of my eyes. I'm about to die and I'm going to spend my last seconds looking at Jimin...I wish it was someone more attractive.

His eyes started watering a little too as he uttered the last thing he would ever say. "C-c-can I h-h-hug you Jungkook?"

I nodded slowly as I embraced the miget, breathing in his smell of deep B.O., ash, and straight up ass. "I love you, man..." I said without thinking, then added. "No homo, though."

"Yeah, no homo though..." He agreed, laughing a little guiltily.

And we stood there, holding each other as we fell apart, waiting for the McDonald's to fall on us.

Little did we know that it never would, because we can't die, we're the main characters. And little do you readers know that this scene actually happens much later in this story. The actual beginning is unsurprisingly much more boring and simple. It all starts with one crazy party, one alien abduction, and one small debt of a million dollars.

Mix all those ingredients up and you'll get one giant bowl of cringe soup.

I hope you're all hungry.