ABDUCTED (a BTS Crackfic)

| | C H A P T E R E I G H T | |

Jimin

"And to which I said, 'Honey, I'll suck your dick but only if you tell me how much is in that pocket of yours first.'" Jin rich-white-woman laughed with Lillian and then took a sip of his champagne. "And that was the time I met Jungkook's kindergarten teacher."

Namjoon sighed from across the table, awkwardly picking at his food while hearing the entire conversation.

"So this is what Jin talks about in those parent teacher conferences of his." Hobi whispered next to me. "I always knew that was the reason why I passed chemistry."

Dinner came off to a great start. Jin sat at the front of the long table in the space ship's dinning room along with Lillian's happy-self talking about past men they've been with while Namjoon listened sadly at the other end of the table. Yoongi shoved an entire baked potato in his mouth and chewed slowly, refraining from falling asleep, and failing. Jungkook just eyed the alien on the other side of the table, not daring to touch anything the woman gave him. Hobi and I just played rock paper scissors under the table and gossiped more about Jin's love life.

It was great.

"Hm... that does make a lot of sense. I only attended like, two algebra classes last year and I still finished the semester with an 80%." I whispered back to Hobi. "I guess they achieved more at that parent teacher conference than I did in that class, if ya know what I mean."

The man laughed and clapped like a deranged seal. He leaned over, about to say something but got cut off by the sound of a glass being rung.

Everyone's eyes darted up to Lilian who held a wine glass in her claws to make an announcement.

"Hello human travel buddies!" She announced, smiling left-most eye to right-most eye. "I just want to say it was very fun meeting new friends. It gets pretty boring on this old ship with being on the run and all. Here's to new beginings as friends and good meals- I mean feels--!"

Jungkook squeaked, looking pale.

"Cheers!" She said, and everybody raised their glass in response.

Smiling as she sat down, Jin asked while twirling pasta onto his fork. "So you said you were on the run. From what? Responsibilities? Life as a model? Ex husbands? Spill the tea girl!"

Lillian laughed a little too loud, brushing a stringy black strand of hair from her fourth eye. "Oh you know, the police."

Namjoon chocked on his wine. "Excuse me, what?"

"I just had a run in with the police, you know, with breaking out of jail and all." She spilled, nonchalantly. "Don't worry about it."

There seemed to be three main reactions across the table, shock, suprize, and in Yoongi's case, snoring. Jin's face contorted from shock, to absolute respect and awe. "Lillian that's so bad ass." He said, leaning in contently.

Suddenly, Jungkook's voice rung across the hall for the first time in the evening. "What were you convicted for?"

Lillian giggled, making the maknae shiver in his Tims. "I'm sure it doesn't matter."

"No, of course it does!" Jin insisted. "It must have been so cool, like for jay-walking, or for being too hot because I know I have before!"

The alien set her cup down, still smiling wide. "Well, if you're just dying to know," She winked at Jin. "I was sentenced to eternity in jail for cannibalism."

Jungkook

I threw up in my mouth a little. Okay, maybe a lot more than a little but still.