Should I?

Angel

     As Tae looked at the window , he could see the rain. He wants to cry like the sky but it seems his heart now knew only a feeling -numbness. He can't seem to remember any happy moments without the sadness seeping through it.Is he angry at his members ?No,anger has also became foreign feeling like the rest. It's a feeling we feel to the people we hate or the people close to him.He doesn't hate them or he feels close to them. They are not anymore the people whom he trusted like family or cared like friends .

     His gaze then falls on to baek hyung who is asleep on the chair . He knows that his hyung is tired after the intense practise after the comeback. Seeing his tired hyung who came to him when needed someone to hold onto ,he realises that why he should be still living. He should battle for the people who hasn't give upon the broken person .

Back to the moment when he really wake up from his short coma,

    As Tae tried to open his eyes , it felt very heavy. He doesn't know why he is trying to wake up back to the life which only pains him. Slowly he tried to open,but the light just hurt his eyes . Soon,he felt his eyes got adjusted to the light. As he felt his visions clearer,he could see white curtains .

"Where am I?",it was hard for him to speak the three words with his throat hurting .

"You are at the hospital." Tae could finally see the monitors ,where his heart beatings are been shown . ,'hmmm...it seems I do have a heart left. After being broken many times, I thought there was nothing left . ",he thought.

"Let me go and call your members then." When the doctor turned ,he was stopped by a firm NO.

"I mean please don't .."

The doctor can't seem to deny the request of the person who seems in more pain than he should be.

"Ok.."

Tae looked at the doctor with curiosity. He never thought the doctor would immediately agree.

"But ,I have to inform someone at least."

He knew he can't call his family . He isn't ready to face them . Just like finding the missing word he needed to complete the lyrics , a person's name came to his mouth ,

"Baekhyun hyung.."

Somehow ,he was able to get hold of his phone . He called and within the first ring ,he was answered.

"Tae ..is this you ?Are you ok ?"

  He felt his eyes filling with tears . He could feel the tiredness in the voice but the warmth in it overflowed. Without seeing the person ,he was able to feel the concern and he knew right then ,he chose the right person to call.

"Hyung ..I'm not ... I'm tired hyung . I want to sleep again without never opening my eyes again. I'm tired of smiling when I don't want to ."

He just let out with our any filter . After seeing death so close , he came to adore it very much and he need somethings to hold him back to life .

"Tae ..what do you want me to do ?"

He felt thankful for the moment he was introduced to Baek hyung.

"I don't want to forget you . I want to forget them . For them , a medical case like amnesia and for me ,the time to glue back the broken pieces of me ."

"I'll be there for you ."

He heard the words again he wanted to hear from his members when he chose to put his trust in front of them . Only to be teared apart and stamped. Baek was there for him with the same words back then also.

He then turned to his doctor who again surprised him by his words again .

"I'll help you."

He can't seem to understand the kindness of the stranger or can't deny the warmth,the same warmth he felt whenever he was with his family .

The doctor answered,

"You remind me lot of my younger brother. A cheerful soul who cared for everyone, just to be broken by the people he trusted. Never blamed anyone and never said goodbye. Just left ,away from such a cruel world to a world where like angels like he should be.

  You are just like him ,an angel and I don't want you to lose hope. The world isn't fully dark yet ."

He don't want to say but said three words. Three meaningful words which started to heal a wound of a soul .

"Thank you ,hyung "

"Just rest ,young angel ."

The doctor said the nickname he once used to call his younger brother. He could finally say the name without it suffocating him.

Flashback ended.

Tae looked at the chain he was holding on his hand hung on his neck. A locket was there of an angel . Holding the gift by the doctor,he looked at the rain again .

He felt himself smiling when he felt a drop of tear from his eyes .

"So ,I'm not completely broken yet ."