Should I?

Time

Time is all he could depend on now . For him to forget the loathe filled stares ,the piercing words and the way touch him making him feel as nothing but a worthless trash . How much time he needs that he can't answer.

      As it not took longer than few minutes for the place he felt like home to hell,for his love to be considered as disgust and to be thought as impure. He hadn't known that the years for them to go on a journey of strangers to friends to family could be collapsed just like that.

"Tae ,have something .."

He know he shouldn't be hurting the people near him who loved for him who he is . Every time he looked at the dishes ,he couldn't help but remember the particular food is favourite of someone or isn't like by someone else . He can't help himself from pointing out that it's too sweet or spicy for someone and only to find him having the sad gaze of his family.

There are times when he can't hug his own family in the fear that if it turns suffocating for them  .When he pulls away from the hug as the dark thoughts crowds him ,his family holds him tighter to assure him of the love he sometimes forget.

As the clock strucks 10 at night ,without a fail he would get a call from Baekhyun and it's always a one side call with Baek talking or someone else from EXO,most of the times Suho who continue the conversation . He doesn't know why he likes to hear the leader  talking.

May be he knows that Suho reminds him of a Hyung he had who used to guide him. But ,now he is all lost and doesn't know which path to take on.

He usually hums or says yes to questions like if he is taking medicines,having is food or getting sleep. He says no to questions like if he is okay or if he wants to meet them.

   The call is always ended by Baek. It's not Baek want to end the conversation. After everything happened ,Tae had hard time falling asleep. It begin with having sleeping pills with the increasing number day any day until that night. One night ,he was able to fall asleep without pills and all because of Baek's singing .From that night onwards,Baek sings to Tae till he fall asleep and ends the call after it .

  For some reason ,the voice of someone helps him to protect from his nightmares to some extent. At certain nights ,he has to fend of the monsters himself and find himself the next day with sore throat. A realisation that he was screaming and crying once again . The truth lays barren to him when he find Soonshim curled near his legs and thankful for a friend who never left.

And when the phone rings again at 10, he knows that he doesn't need to fight the monsters alone and to accept the strength whose love never wavered when his mask has fallen and to displayed himself bare as a baby .

With time ,he has to take tiny steps again . Even if he falls ,he knows that someone will be there to catch him or bandage his wounds.