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12. I've Met Mother Death-Jamal

December 16th, 2009

I blink twice and my eyes pop open shocked by the brightness. Attempting to sit up quickly I'm strapped down by something.

I panic trying to get out of the restraints.

"Young man! Stop. Stop you could hurt yourself." A man in a doctors coat shouts quickly rushing towards me.

It takes me a minute to registrar that I'm in a hospital bed and my hearts starts to race. Why am I here?

"You're okay your safe." He coaxes me and I start to relax a little bit. My fist is still clenched.

Two nurses walk in with charts and a medicine cart.

"You know why your here?" I shake my head no.

He and the nurse share a look and take a deep sigh.

"Who do you live with?" The doctor folds his glasses before putting them in his pocket.

"My mom and dad." I say quietly.

"Okay, when was the last time you saw them." I shrug my shoulders.

I don't know how long I've been asleep. How can I remember that.

"How old are you?" I blink twice at him.

I know how old I am. I'm.... I'm.... how old am I again?

"Your parents are here. But we have to know the extent of your condition before they can see you." He tells me and I can't figure out what condition.

"Why am I here?" My voice shakes.

"Nurse Henry, please key in that patient suffers memory loss. Vitals are very low. The skull is healing and the swelling of the brain is causing the patient to squint. The light may be to bright can we dim them." The doctor tells the nurse politely.

"What's your name?" He questions gently.

I want to spit it out instantly but I can't even think of it. I can't think of anything but opening my eyes.

"Jamal. You were ejected from a vehicle. Do you know what that means?"

I shake my head again.

"On impact you were thrown out of a car. Now your head is bandaged and you may not remember a lot but there is a chance that your memory will recover with time."

I stir in the bed.

They talk over me for a second and then exit the room.

My parents stand close to the door. Peeking in until the doctor fully lets them.

My momma burst into tears when she sees me.

"They wouldn't let us see you Mally." She kisses my cheek and my dad grips my hand tightly.

"Your my little fighter. I laughed when they said to make funeral arrangements. My baby boy was going to make it." She spoke hysterically crying.

My dad wrapped his arm around my head gently.

I feel okay now.

"Sheronda Vincent you are under arrest for child endangerment and driving under the influence." The officers called off a spew of the charges and rights and my dad gripped me tightly.

"No no no. Please momma what did you do." Hot tears fall down my face and my dad and the restraints keep me from jumping out of the bed.

"You said you wouldn't call the cops why would you take me from him he's only a kid." My mom shouts and my dad and he give her the stoniest glare of the century. And she stops resisting and they take her out of the room.

"Dad why?" Confusion takes over my face.

"Baby boy I could lose her before I could ever lose you. I promise the only thing that's taking you out of this world from me is God." He stares into my eyes and I see he's serious.

I'm sad and at ease. My dad comforts me in ways that I can't describe I feel safe when my dad looks me in my eyes.

~
My dad doesn't talk about my mom at all anymore unless it's to say something  bad. She was really high and I needed to go somewhere I don't know where anymore and we got hit hard. I somehow managed to fly nearly 20 feet in the air and land on cement and not die. My mom didn't have the same experience. The drugs in her system slowed her reaction time to the collision. She was in and out with in 24hrs. My mom went to jail for almost a year and they let her out because of overcrowding.

She went back into her spiral of abuse.

It's not even close to December or the time she died. Some days I miss her. But I don't know who I miss. By the time I can fully remember her she already had the drugs consuming her.

I run into Ray pulling some books out of her locker and I'm tempted to stop over there.

"Ray!" She turns and rolls her eyes.

"Jamal?" She responds as dry as she possibly can.

"You have like a pre-season meet or something this weekend right?" I try to come off causal but I know it's more annoying than anything.

She makes a face that I can't read and stares into her locker before sucking her teeth.

"No bullshit what you want man?" She folds her arms across her chest and really looks at me.

I open my mouth to talk and close it again.

"Nothing." I take a deep breath. "Even if it was for a few weeks. Ray I miss being cool with you. Real shit I miss being around you and talking to you."

Her eyes soften and I see the relation in her shoulders.

"Wubba lubba dub dub?" I tell her and she cracks a smile.

"Rick and Morty? Stupid ass." She starts laughing for real this time.

It's my turn to relax.

"Friends again?"

"Associates again we were never friends." But her smile tells me that we were back on track.

We walked to class together in complete silence between us. My favorite part about her. She doesn't have to talk for you to hear her. Being around her grounded me. I look down to see her clutching her binder for class. Despite my momma weighting down on my head it felt good knowing that someone outside of my head didn't know or care enough to make me pull out feelings I wasn't trying to deal with.

Ray understood without words. People like this are hard to come by. I grabbed her hand and pulled it to my lips and kissed causing shock to cover her face.