Dark

17. Family Fued-Rayna

"I mean damn you was all on a nigga." Nassir chuckled and I punched him playfully.

"But seriously I'm not trying to take advantage of you or anything but I'm feeling you and our vibe. Even if you haven't heard my reputation I'm grateful you don't judge me for the obvious." He said taking my hand and lacing it in his.

"And on some real shit I'm grateful you let me talk. Everyday I wake up and I feel a literal hatred for myself. People in these small ass communities treat dark skinned people or even different people so fuckin bad. And why? It's a mostly black town you know. I try not to hate being black but I do sometimes. Being a black girl is one of the hardest things to do in life. We work twice as hard and have to be twice as perfect." I finished admitting my truths.

"Being a black woman may be the most hardest but it's the most beautiful. A black woman created life and birthed nations. A black woman rescued slaves. A black woman nursed incompetent white women's babies. A black woman refused to give up her seat on the bus. All that shit hard I know it is. But you gotta realize you could hate yourself all you want ma. You can cover up your skin in as much of that lotion you want to but I promise you what you feel about yourself will never go away. Confidence and security is something you feel it's now how you look." Nas looked me directly in my eyes and he held his gaze in my own for several minutes.

He was right.

He reached out and cupped my face with his hands and I felt secure. I melted a little. There was no pressure no sense of excitement that a guy wanted to talk to me. My feelings were raw and unhinged.

"You don't even need me to tell you're a beautiful ass girl. They don't make'em like this no more." He chuckled before releasing my face.

I closed my eyes for a second. "Thank you." Was all I could muster out.

~

"Ray can we talk." I closed my locker and walked the opposite direction of my cousin. Guess I'm taking the long way to class.

"Come on Ray please don't do this we haven't talked in what feels like forever." Lena continued to plead.

I rolled my eyes and continued on my path as she followed me closely and I spun around brick-walling her.

"Lena this is my last time telling you to leave me the fuck alone. Are we clear." I said as harshly as I could possibly get out.

"Yes and I heard you and read all of your text that have said that but we are family

I cut her off "No you're my aunts daughter of no relation to me."

"Seriously I'm coming to you woman to woman and that's how you wanna do this." Lena says with tears brimming her eyes.

"And I'm coming at you woman to bitch. I can't suddenly forget what you said to me and what you've thought of me your entire life."

I turned to walk away.

"Ray please I would never beg but I need someone."

"I needed you."

"Ray. Please." Tears began to fall from her eyes and other students began to stare.

Going against my better judgement I stop. "Fine. 3rd floor bathroom. Let's go." I say referring to the old bathroom at the school that no one uses accept maybe to mess around or smoke or just to skip class.

Once we made it I closed and locked the door behind.

"Talk Lena because I'm still pissed at you." I said already over her silence.

"I went to the free clinic on the other side of town and they gave me this." She dug quickly and handed me the papers.

I stared at them for a moment before taking them and reading over all of the medical terms until I found one that made sense.