Chapter 11: Memory

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Nico's POV:

For a while, I could se nothing but darkness. Cold, inky darkness.
Then a bright light appeared in the distance. I began to walk to it but the farther I walked, the farther it got away. Soon I got frustrated and began to sprint.
As I ran, voices began invading my head. Some I recognized; my mom, Bianca, but others were unclear. Right on the tip of my tongue.
Anyway, my head began to swim in pain. Too many voices, too many words. They were confusing me. One said one thing, one said another. One in Italian, another in English, and one in, surprisingly, Greek.
I went on my knees and clutched my head in pain. The voices got louder and louder. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out. It was too overwhelming. I began to go into a panic attack. I can't breath
Suddenly, the voices stop. The darkness surrounding me gives room for light. The scenery begins to change from nothingness to a school's grounds. My breath catches. This was the old school I went to when I lived in Italy.
I looked around the playground. Kids were running around, screaming and yelling. I could see myself off to the side, nine year old me. I was standing with my old best friend/secret crush Dustin. I realized what old me was about to do and tears pricked the back of my eyes.
'No! Don't!' I try to yell, but my mouth won't move. When I tried to run, my body seemed glued in place. All I could do was stare helplessly at what younger me was about to do.
"Um.... Dustin?" younger me squeaked.
Dustin chuckled. "Yeah Nico? What is it?"
Younger Nico gulped. "C-can I trust you to keep a secret?"
Dustin nodded, looking at younger me sympathetically. He was a liar and I know that now, but I didn't know that then.
Younger me let out a shaky breath. "I-I um I," he took a deep breath. "I'm g-gay..."
Nico closed his eyes. (ugh it's so weird to say my name in a sentence when referring to someone else... or would I be referring to myself?...) Silence stretched on to infinity. Younger Nico's shoulders shook, he was obviously trying to conceal tears. After another long 5 minutes, Nico looked up.
"D-d-dustin?" he asked in a shaky voice.
Dustin's face was contorted in disgust. "You're gay?" Dustin asked with unnatural calmness.
Little Nico looked down and nodded his head in shame.
"I can't believe I am - was - friends with you! You're a-a-a freak!" Dustin yelled before walking away.
Little Nico sank to the ground and burst out in tears.
Something inside me constricted sharply. I remember, not only the pain of losing my best friend, but of my very first heart-break. I continued to stare at Nico until a girl came up to him. Bianca.
"Cosa c'è di sbagliato?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
Nico shook his head. "My heart just broke, Bianca. I thought I could trust Dustin, but he hurt me." He whimpered and accepted his (my?) sister's embrace.
Bianca pulled him close. "Shh, shh. It's okay il mio valoroso soldato. You'll find a new best friend." She put him at arms-length. "Do you want to go for candy after school?"
Nico nodded. Bianca steered him toward the school and away from all the students. As they began to disappear, my vision began to go black around the edges. No! Not again.
Too late. I was submerged in darkness again before a new memory appeared. My mother and I. It was the same day, but after school. She was rocking me back and forth while wiping at my tears.
"Don't cry, non piangere amore mio. Just tell me what happened please," Maria Di Angelo murmured against Nico's hair.
Nico gave a brief explanation of what happened. It took him less than five minutes and he ended with, "So I-i'm g-g-gay..."
Mom looked blank. Completely expressionless. Then, in a blink of an eye, she pulled back and slapped Nico.
"You're gay? How could you? Didn't I teach you better every time we went to church? The church knows, being gay is an abomination," she then pulled him toward her again. "Don't worry, it is probably just a phase. Mi dispiace amore mio. I shouldn't have hit you like that. Please forgive me." She was crying into his hair.
Nico didn't respond. He was touching the red mark left on his right cheek. He began to cry again before everything went black.
I stumbled around in the darkness for a while before that light in the distance returned. This time, a male voice was calling me toward it. It was very familiar and I decided to listen to it. Maybe I would figure out who it was. My fingers grazed the light and A new form of darkness surrounded me.

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AN: For the people that still care about this story, there will be one more chapter before it ends, then I will attempt to make a sequel soon.

Translations:

1. Cosa c'è di sbagliato?- what's wrong?
2. il mio valoroso soldato.- my brave soldier.
3. non piangere amore mio.- don't cry my love.
4. Mi dispiace amore mio.- I'm sorry my love.

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