Rayne and Alex

Chapter 29

Rayne

"Do you want me to stay?" Jenn asks me. She's parked in my driveway and I know she'd stay with me if I told her to. After telling her what happened with Alex, I know she wants to comfort me, but I also need some time to think.

"Actually, can I spend the night at your place?" I pause and mumble, "Maybe a few weeks?"

Jenn takes my hand in hers and squeezes, "You know you don't even need to ask."

I smile at her gratefully. "You go home. I'll pack some stuff, and I'll drive so I have my car."

"Are you sure? I don't mind staying."

I let go of her hand, "Go. I'll be fine." I need to talk to my mom alone anyway.

I step out of the car and Jenn waits until I'm safely inside before she leaves. When I enter my house, I run to my room and grab a duffel bag. I pack as many clothes as I can and throw in a pair of boots and sneakers. When I go to my piggy bank, I'm shocked to find only sixty dollars. Last time I'd counted I thought I had double that amount. I take my sixty dollars and put them in my duffel. Then I make my way to the kitchen and reach for the empty flower pot on top of the refrigerator.

Mom uses the flower pot as a place to put any spare cash. Extra dollars, extra fives, or any extra cash from her paycheck goes into the flower pot. I've never taken money out of it, but the last time I counted there were two-thousand dollars.

"What the hell?" I mutter under my breath when I find only nine hundred dollars. I recount the money three times. The number doesn't change.

I take five hundred. I know I won't survive off of only that much, but I'll get a job eventually. I'll also be staying with Jenn so it's not like I'll have to pay rent.

Before I go back into my room, I walk into my mom's. I look around and try to find something that looks expensive. How could more than one-thousand dollars just disappear? I rummage through her closet and her clothes drawers. When I don't find anything, I go to her bedside table. I open the first two drawers and find nothing. When I get to the last one, I don't believe what I see.

I drop down to my knees and comb through what could be a little over a dozen medicine bottles. When I take a close look at them, I notice that they're each filled with different colored pills and all of the bottles are just a simple, orange, see-through plastic. Further back in the drawer, I find a small bag with what I know is pot and another bag with white powder which I assume is cocaine.

I startle when I hear my front door open.

"Rayne?" Mom calls, "Are you home?"

I don't move from where I'm kneeling on the floor.

"Are you in my-?" She stops speaking when she walks into her room and sees me.

I stand and raise my two hands. One holds the bag of coke and the other holds a bottle of purple pills. "What the hell is this?"

Mom drops her purse to the floor slowly and walks to me with the palms of her hands facing me. "I can explain those."

I nod and throw the substances on her bed. "Yes, please. Tell me why you have a drawer full of drugs," I say sarcastically. "Or better yet, tell me why I'm missing half of my money and the flower pot is missing more than one-thousand dollars."

Mom blanches, "How-?"

"Did you steal from me to buy drugs?"

"Baby-"

"Yes or no," I demand.

Mom closes her eyes tightly and a tear slips out of her eye. "Yes, but-"

I scowl at her in disgust. Shaking my head, I push past her and rush to my room. I'm throwing my duffel bag over my shoulder when she comes in.

"Baby, please-"

"What are you going to tell me? That you're sorry? That you love me? What's that going to do, huh?"

"It was a mistake, I know, but I would have paid you back," she speaks in a squeaky voice as she tries not to cry.

I walk past her and when I stop abruptly, she rams into my back because she tried to follow. I turn to speak to her, nose-to-nose, "How long have you been doing this?"

Mom sniffles, "Only a few years."

I scoff, "Only." I turn around and walk away from her once more. When I get to the living room, I turn to face her for the last time. I wait for a moment before I speak, "Were you ever going to tell me?" She stares at me blankly when she realizes I'm not talking about the drugs. "Were you ever going to tell me that you aren't my mom."

Her eyes water, "How...?"

"It doesn't matter how. What matter is that you... you kidnapped me. You took me from a family. I was someone's daughter and you made me your own."

"Rayne, I love you. You have to know that."

I nod. I do believe that. I believe she loves me, but that isn't my point at all. "What reason could you possibly have for stealing a child?"

Mom takes a step closer to me, but stops when I take one back. "Rayne... I tried for years to have a child. I never could. When I saw you alone, I don't know what came over me. I just knew that you were mine. You were my little girl."

She's psychotic. "But I wasn't yours," I say through clenched teeth. "What about that dad you said I had? Does he even exist?"

She nods, "I was married once. I even got pregnant a few times. I kept losing the babies. My husband got so devastated he ended our marriage. I thought... I thought that if I could have a baby he would take me back. By the time I got you he'd already moved on with another woman and I knew I needed you in my life."

I shake my head and laugh, "You're crazy."

"Rayne, I love you. Would you really throw away all our years together?"

"Yes," I say honestly. "You were hardly even there for those years. You say you care about me, but a mom who cares would tell me to try my hardest in school not tell me to go out to parties whenever I wanted. If you cared you would've given me a curfew and rules. You don't care about me. What you care about is making me like you."

"Rayne, that's not true..."

Just as I'm about to speak, there's a knock on the front door then a creak as it opens. Mom looks past me and I crane my neck to see Alex at my door.

"Rayne. Carol. Hey," he looks between me and my mom. "Is everything okay?"

I shake my head and look to my mom again. I step up close enough to her so that only she can hear me. "I'm leaving and I don't want to hear from you again. I know you raised me. I know that you love me. I'll admit I love you too, but you shouldn't be anything but a stranger to me. You took me away from a family who hadn't done anything to you for your own selfish reasons. I don't want someone as toxic as you in my life." I take a step back, "Get help. Drugs aren't any sort of solution." As much as I hate her in the moment, she is the woman who I called my mother for seventeen years of my life and I'd prefer if she didn't die.

I turn away from her and walk towards Alex. I don't make eye contact with him as we leave, but he rubs the small of my back with his palm and holds my hand in emotional support. It isn't until we step outside and I feel the frosty air on my face that I notice the tears rolling down my cheeks.