Poisonous Thoughts💔

4

*warning, slightly mature content*

Her

Feelings fade. She discovered that when he showed up at her door at midnight on a Friday. She opened it and didn't feel the rush of emotion she had felt whenever she saw him before. She mentally chastised herself, saying on her mind, "How long have you wanted this? Now he's here and you think you don't feel anything"
She mentally shoved that away. She stepped forward and took his hand, leading him quietly and quickly up the steps and into her room. She turned and shut the door, locking it, before falling into his arms. He kissed her deeply, his hands against her back, pulling her closer so there was no space between them.
She pulled away and looked at him, still not feeling that old spark, but pushing the doubt to the back of her mind once again. He's perfect. Why wouldn't I want him?  She thought.
She kissed him again with a passion, he spun her so her back was facing her bed, and took slow steps forward, pushing her back. He lifted her onto the bed, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, tilting her head back as his mouth moved from her lips, to her jaw, to her ear, to her neck. She shivered when he sighed her name.  He ran his hands down her back, up her shoulders, her hands from his hair, to his face, to under his shirt, her nails leaving trails marking him as hers. Her hands reached his waistband as his reached the hem of her shirt, and it was all over from there.

Laying next to him, even snuggled in his warm embrace, she couldn't summon up the feelings she had felt last time they had done this. She didn't know why. But she played the part of a caring girlfriend surprisingly well.

Him

He could feel it. Something was off. She was hesitating, holding back, and he didn't know why. Did she know? She couldn't. He had gone through great lengths to promise her that he was hers. Even though he never would be again. He didn't know why he was doing this, did he enjoy making his life difficult? Because he knew for certain he no longer loved the girl in his arms. And maybe she didn't love him. Maybe what he did to her had broken her, made her strive for only the physical, as he had done before her.  As he was doing now. He felt that he was a monster. Why was he playing her like this? She deserved better. He was bad for everyone. But he didn't show it. Instead, he pushed into what they were doing. He knew what he wanted from this.

Afterwards, with her intensely. He felt a spark of emotion that he quickly brushed off.
No, he had had her once, and lost her. Never again. The time came all too soon for him to leave, and he noticed that she didn't protest him leaving as she normally would have.
Maybe he really had broken something inside of her that couldn't be fixed.