Poisonous Thoughts💔

The End.... Maybe

I don't know what changed, but something inside me snapped. It wasn't like I hadn't heard him say the words a thousand times over, but a part of me never wanted to hear his voice say my name again, but at the same time all I wanted to hear was him gasping it in my ear. 
I knew what I had to do and knew if I wasn't strong enough that he would come back and hurt me over and over. I had to make sure he never spoke to me again. It would kill me, I would hate myself for it and he would hate me but at least he would be away from me, the real monster, and me away from him, my drug. No... He's like both a drug and my Kryptonite.
I had to make him hate me.

I spent the day in tears, piecing together a speech that would be sure to make him stay away for good. The time came when he was waiting for me outside my math class like usual, and when he saw my tear-stained face I immediately saw the worry in his eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked. When I shook my head, he became even more persistent . I stuck to my plan and waved it off until I got to my locker.
I leaned my back against it and raised my tear-filled eyes to meet his. "You don't love me." I accused. "You don't hurt people you love over and over. You don't know what love is. You're a player. I fought for you over and over and insisted that you weren't a monster when you said you were. But guess what? I was wrong. I want to go places in my life, I want to be someone, and I can't do that with you. You're never going to amount to anything. Because you're a player and a fuckboy, and I'm done."
I kept eye contact with him the entire time, and saw the pain in his eyes as what I was saying registered. When I had said my piece, I turned and walked away, trying to hide the tears that spilled over. My heart was screaming "Go back. Tell him you didn't mean it." But my brain insisted "You did the right thing. Don't let him see you cry." I sat in the bathroom the next period, listening to our favorite song and crying. I had just lost the person I loved the most and I would never get him back.