Poisonous Thoughts💔

3 AM

"When are you going to stop chasing the girls that don't love you, and instead see that the one who loves you is right here?" I asked, looking up at him. He pulled me close, his arm around my waist, and said," I don't know. But know I do love you. You're my constant, have been for the past year. And I need that right now."
I pushed myself a little closer, and his arm around me tightened. With his free hand he grabbed my wrist and turned my forearm up, tracing the lines there. "Explain this to me." He said, his voice thick, "What makes you do this to yourself?" I looked down at the sheet beneath us, and shivered a little in the cool night air. "I don't know." I said."Maybe it's being in control of what hurts me. All I know is... it's hard. Some days I get so close to giving up. So, so close. But no matter what, I pull my mask up and smile. Because that's what this is, faking being happy, for you." He pulled me into his lap, and buried his head in my shoulder. I heard his breath catch and pulled away. Before my hand could reach his face,he turned, avoiding my hand. I put both hands on either side of his face, and felt the tears. I teared up a bit too. " don't cry." I croaked. " you'll live without me. You can do it, I promise." He wrapped his arms around me even more securely and said," I don't think I can, and please don't ever make me try. I love you."