Butterfly Tattoo [Nate Ruess]

[6] Adoption Office

Nate Ruess

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. Today is the big day, a important day for me and Kennedy. A new step into life, a new chapter in our book.

Kennedy, still asleep, smiles in her sleep. This comforts me, because I know she is dreaming of happiness, dreaming of delight.

Looking over to the clock, I notice that the time is a quarter till nine, and I turn back over to my normal position, relieved that we don't have to be at the adoption office until another hour.

Anytime I bring up the word "Adoption" to Kennedy, she can't help but blush and smile.

It all makes sense to me now. If she would have told me from the beginning that she wasn't able to have children, I wouldn't of told her my original answer. I would have told her yes immediately.

But, I can kind of understand why she wouldn't want to tell me, it's more of a personal thing.

She doesn't have to tell me anything she doesn't want to tell me, I don't want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

Just like sex.

If she didn't want to, I wouldn't make her. I didn't even force her to speak to me when she finally decided to.

We were together for a year and in that year, not one actual word came out of her mouth or out from between her lips.

It sort of makes me wonder, what triggered her to finally talk to me? Was it the way I took care of her after her park accident? Was it the way I have been protective over her, or was it the way I acted like a father to her little cousin, Andrew?

Andrew doesn't have a father, his father walked out on them a week later after Andrew was born.

Why? I was never told. But I don't believe Andrew's mother quite exactly knows why either.

Which is very sad, since his father could lay down with his mother and make him, but couldn't stand up to be a responsible father.

I wouldn't ever do that to Kennedy, ever. If I laid down with her and got her pregnant, I have the responsibility to stand up and be our child's father. To let that child live a happy life, knowing its father is there to support and raise it.

This just reminded me, the box.

I looked over to the drawer it lays under, still safe but wanting to be opened.

I get so aggravated with myself, I am so clueless of when I should actually pop the question to her. I've always been told that I will get the feeling inside me that lets me know its time to ask her, but I still haven't gotten anything close to it.

What if she says no?

I don't want to be devastated. If anything, I want her to have my last name, to be claimed mine forever and always.

Kennedy Ruess.

That has a lovely ring to it.

I feel some ruffling in the sheets next to me. I look over and notice Kennedy moving around, grunting as she stretches.

She opens her eyes, and immediately smiles at me.

I scoot over to her, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the left side of her neck continuously, knowing it tickles her.

"Today's the day, Nate." she says to me with a smile.

I smile down at her, giving her a nod.

"Yes, it is."