The German Exchange Husband (Part 2)

Work

My alarm wakes me up and I hit the snooze button but I do not fall asleep. I just lay there next to Samara making sure she is breathing evenly. Then I get up and walk off to the bathroom.

I have taken a lot of work of lately. My boss understands the most. I'm not sure why but he does..

I wash my face qnd brush my teeth and put on my nice clothes. When I was done I walked in my kids rooms amd gave them a kiss on the forehead.

Then I went down stairs and grabbed an apple from the kitchen and headed out to my car. I slide inside the driver stop and drove off to work. Which is a longer drive now but I do not care really.

When I get to work everyone looks at me. I kinda just gave them a smile amd went to work behind to counter. Then about 3 hours later. Things did not pick up but Mr. Buckle called me into his office.

"Dr. Von Ritz can you come in here please." He said.

"Sure." I followed him inside his office.

We stepped inside his office and he shut the door behind us. He pointed to the seat and I took it and He sat behimd his desk and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Derex. I know what you are going through."

"What sir?"

"I know what you are going through."

"I'm sorry I don't understand. "

He took in a long breath of air and exhaled loudly. "My wife died of stage 4 breast cancer 4 years ago. I know that type of pain you are going through Derex."

"Really sir?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask you a question Mr.Buckle?"

"Go a head."

"How do you get through the day knowing that she is.." I could not bring myself to say such words.

He lend in closer to me and I swear I saw a tear in his eye.

"There is not one day I do not miss her. Everyday I feel something missing. Sometimes Derex I do not know how I do it but then I stop and think.... Would Lorrain want me to waste my life? No she would want me to go on. So I go on for her spirt and think one day I will be next to her again.'' He said with small tears.

"Thank you Mr.Buckle."

"Not a problem my boy." He said with a smile. Then he let me go back to work.

***

I went back home and found Samara reading to the kids. I stood in the door way of our room. They were so cute. Maximillion and Charlotte were sitting on opposite sides on Samara's lap and she was reading a winnie the pooh book. When Samara saw me she smiled and blew a kiss at me and went on reading.

I went down stairs and chilled on the couch. You know. I put on the T.V and soon my eyes got heavy and I driffed off to  sleep.

***Samara's POV***

Once I was done reading to the babies I took  them downstairs with me. I put Maximillion in his walker because he wanted to start walking around and Charlotte wanted to stay in my arms.

So I swayed her around and blew into her belly. Derex was napping on the couch. He looked really cute when he was asleep

Then Charlotte needed her dipper changed. So I took her into my room and changed her dipper. Then she started to get sleepy and I took her into her room amd layed her into her bed.

I just looked down at her. I made her. She came from me. Her amd my son. I gently stroked her face lighty so I would not wake her. I bent down amd placed a kiss on her tiny forehead.

I felt the tears slide down my cheeks. I wish I could see you grow up my daughter. I know daddy will take good care of you. Then I walked into Maximillion's room.

He was still asleep and I gently stroked his face too and bent down and gave him a kiss too. I wish I could watch you beome the man I know you will.

At the point I was crying for real. Not because my life is ending but because it barly began. I wanted to watch my kids grow up amd grow old with Derex. I wanted it all but I know I can't have it.

I left my son's room and went into my own room. I assume Derex was still sleeping. This is the perfect time to write.

I took out paper and a black pen and began writing notes.. First is Maximillion.

Dear Maximillion, 

I'm so sorry my son. I wish I had the chance to watch you grow up. To watch you become the man I know you are becoming. I'm not sure when you will be reading this but I know it will be when you are older. I love you so much Maximillion. You make me proud every day.

I am watching over you. You may not know much about me at all because you were a baby when I passed away but I just want you to know that I love you with everything I have.

As I'm writing I felt more hot tears slide down my cheeks. My throat hurt and there were tear drops were getting on the paper but I kept writing. When I reached to papers I signed off and put Maximillion's note in an envelope.

It was dated and timed and put it to my side. Then I started to work on Charlotte's note.

Dear Charlotte, 

I'm so sorry my daughter. I wish I could see the beautiful young woman you are becoming. I love you so much. I wish I could be here for you to explain why your first boyfriend is a jerk. I am sure you will be reading this when you are older. I love you so much Charlotte.

You make me proud everyday. I am always watching over you and I will always be in your heart. I know you don't know me very well but I love you so much.

I went on and did the same on her note. Tear drops got on her paper butni kept on writing. When I reaches 2 pages. I put her note in the envelope and sealed it shut. I put her name on it and dated amd timed it.

I know where to put these. I walked over to Derex's side of the bed and pulled out his box. I would never open so I taped them to the bottom and placed it back under the bed.

I gave Daphane Derex's note. She will give it to him when the time is right. I wrote a note for Derex's next wife. That is also with Daphane. I know she is keeping them safe for me.

I dried up my face and went down stairs. It was around 10:37pm and Derex was still asleep on the couch. So I curled up next to him and snuggled up into his side and fell fast asleep in his arms.

Even in his sleep he can sense me. He coiled his arms around me tightly and held me close. I'm going to miss him so much. I love you Derex.