The City | GirlxGirl

nine ➳

Cold wind in her hair. The midnight sky. The night frozen, but turning warmer. Odd. Snowflakes falling briskly from hidden clouds in a dark yet clear atmosphere, turning into a light drizzle. Jude's cheeks damp with rain and tears. She never wiped the tears off her face. She let them run, let them slowly wind down her chilled skin as she passed people on the streets, wondering why a girl like her was out so late, alone, and clearly upset. And lost. Very lost.

But she had seen that street sign before. She had been here before. Her mind was just too messy-she laughed at herself. "Messy" had always been her way of describing her mental state when she was overwhelmed when she was younger. And that's how she felt now. Overwhelmed.

And heartbroken.

And betrayed.

And hurt. Oh, God, she hurt. Her stomach, ribs, arms. Heart.

Of course, this was the street the cafe sat on. The street she had been down countless times before in the past few weeks. This street had been her salvation. She had left the apartment, where only bad memories had been formed, and come here to let everything go. The cafe, this street, provided her safety. It was where she wrote poetry, where she watched the bartenders and the drunks smoke their cigarettes in the winter air. It was where, only days ago, she had stood in front of the cafe, catching snowflakes with her tongue.

How was she the same person as she was that day? She had been so happy. She hadn't had a care in the world. Even in the midst of her treacherous relationship with Thom, she had been happy. And she let it show.

Now, she was hurting, heartsick, and heavy. And she let that show, too.

There was a payphone outside of the bar. The first time Jude had seen it, she thought it was a horrible idea. It was destined for countless drunk phone calls to exes and current lovers.

But now, the payphone was her safe haven.

The minute she had stepped out of the apartment with her few things crammed into her bag, she had shut off her phone. Jude was never a paranoid person, but then again, she had never been in a situation which could induce paranoia.

After everything that had just happened at the apartment, Jude glanced over her shoulder every few seconds. She walked swiftly, and kept her head down. She made sure to stay in the shadows.

And she kept her phone shut off. Just in case-because Jude didn't seem to know anything anymore-he could find her through it. Could track her. And follow her.

There were only two people in the entire world that she wanted to talk to at that moment. Not the few friends she had in Kenora, that she had mainly kept close because they were company while Thom was busy.

"Mom?"

A breath. Shaking. "Jude, honey, what's wrong? Why are you calling from this number?"

Jude could hear her father asking a question in the background. They sounded worried. And they should be, Jude thought.

There was a moment of silence, in which a child decides whether or not to lie to their parents, telling them that they're fine when they're not.

And then Jude broke the ice. "I'm-Mom, I'm not okay."

Suddenly she was sobbing into the phone, cradling it in both hands, holding it close to her lips. She looked over her shoulder briefly, ensuring she was alone. The bar was a few feet away. There was no one outside-no one smoking, no one shouting. No one staring at the girl crying on the phone to her mother.

"What's wrong?" Her mother repeated the question over and over, and then the phone was passed to her father, and he asked the question several times until Jude felt that she couldn't hold it in any longer. She was holding onto a secret that she needed to reveal.