The City | GirlxGirl

twenty nine ➳

Skylar couldn't decide to slam the door on Mack, or to end the years of silence by screaming loud enough that Blair could hear her two blocks away. And in the midst of her indecision, Mack opened his mouth, struggling to find the words now that he was face to face with the sister that had been ignoring him for four years. With the sister who loved the girl that he killed.

"Skylar, I just want to talk to you. Please let me talk to you. I need to apologize-explain-"

"There's nothing to explain," said Skylar. "And I don't accept your apology."

She couldn't help it. She melted at the sound of Mack's voice. He was her baby brother; her partner in crime; her best friend. He was. That was the key word. Past tense.

And yet, despite everything, she wanted to open the door wide, pull him into her arms, and feel the world settle. Feel every piece of her shift back into place after the earthquake that destroyed her. And then she wanted to pull Jude inside by her hands, and never let go of them.

But it wasn't that easy. Because doing so wouldn't make the world go back to normal. Logan was gone, and nothing she did, or Mack did, or Jude did, could ever bring her back. They could never fix it.

"Skylar, please. Five minutes. It could change everything."

"You changed everything. I'd be living here with Logan, happy, if it weren't for you."

And that wasn't true. Because Skylar was living here, happy. What if Logan had survived-what if the accident had never happened-and they had broken up anyway? What if Skylar was happy without Logan, because they were never meant to be?

She shook her head, frustrated with herself. She had to stand her ground. These were the things she believed; the things she held closest to her heart.

I love Logan. I hate Mack. I can't ever forgive the man who took Logan away from me. If he hadn't done that, my life would've been perfect. Logan and I would've been perfect.

And nothing was going to change any of it.

"Skylar." Jude was soaked from head to toe. Her blue jeans, her grey sweatshirt, her curly hair. All of it soaked. Skylar wanted to invite her in, to warm her up. She couldn't. Jude walked closer, up the driveway, up the pathway, and onto the porch. Mack moved aside, letting Jude stand directly in front of Skylar. "Just let him talk. You've never done it before; what if you're missing out on something huge? He's your brother. It's been four years." Desperately, Jude added, "Please, Skylar. If he ever meant anything to you. If Logan ever meant anything to you, let him talk. She'd want you to forgive him; she'd want you to move on."

"You don't know Logan," Skylar said. Cold.

Jude crossed her arms over her chest, trying her best not to show how much she was shivering-from both the pouring rain, and the nerves.

"But I know that if you loved her, she was a good person. She had a good heart. And a good person with a good heart wouldn't want you to waste so many years of your life ignoring the only family member you have left because you think that's what she wants. That's not justice, Skylar. Maybe Logan doesn't get justice. But you should."

Skylar stared. Again, she felt like everything was frozen. Jude. Herself. Time.

Jude had a point. Why did Skylar have to suffer for so long? Logan already suffered enough. The world didn't need another person to hurt. Skylar didn't need to continue to hurt themselves.

But it was so hard. It would be going against everything she believed. It would be changing everything, like Mack said.

But change was good. Skylar changed when she left the bar and started working at the cafe-a move that distanced herself from Logan's memory-and that had felt good. That had made her happier. And didn't she deserve happiness, after so many years of suffering, of ignoring the person she used to love, and drowning herself in the dark?