STARLESS EYES

A Girl Loved Me and This is What I Did

Sometimes I just want to break you.

I go through the motions of being good
But the truth is I've never wanted to be a better person for you
The stars you saw in my eyes were glitter covered contacts
I blinded myself to seduce you
That dimple on my face is a cavern I dug with a spoon
If I made myself empty would you leave me?
That innocence and vanilla scented skin you loved so much were the work of acting classes and wearing too much perfume
Will my blank canvas covered in washable paint make you go?
Because I'm sorry I couldn't love your cookie-cutter perfect love
I'm sorry that the smell of cinnamon on your lips make me sick
That I listen to your voicemails on repeat at night, trying to hear if through the cracks of your voice there is a hint of weariness
Your calls light up my screen, oh but darling, don't you know?
The smile that covers my face is stamped on to lure you in
You see the pinker the lips, the wider the eyes, the softer the skin
Even when I am tired of you
When your love has gotten under my skin and I claw till I bleed
I taunt you
Your love envelopes me in laughter -
It had been too long since my last -
I had forgotten how desperate a mortal in love is.
But, love, look at me
I have turned your heart to stone
Like a mortal trapped in Medusa's glare - you are one of the many testaments that prove the legend true
Do not love a lost girl,
She may have snakes for hair,
And no compassion for your loving stare.