Chapter 42 | Alive

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Song: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

I've been through this before. Knowing that someone or right now, two of the closest people in my life might die but this time it had a twist. This time their blood would be on my hands.

I was lying on my bed, with one hand tightly clenched into a fist while the other was too weak to twitch at the very least. My body felt numb and I ran out of tears to cry. I dared not to open my eyes because of the fear that remember when I wake up or open my eyes, someone might come to tell me bad news.

I was on the edge of losing myself completely. I only held on to the small hope that maybe just maybe Bellamy and Keith won't go after Trace anymore.

I didn't want to be sober, I wish I could get drunk or get high from taking a combination of painkillers but I knew that wouldn't help. When my dad died I wasn't exactly sober and technically, I shouldn't have remembered anything but I did. Each and every fucking moment was etched into my brain.

I heard a knock on the door but I didn't respond. I was barely breathing already.

"Blake? Your mom's on the phone. Would you like to talk to her?" Harrison's voice echoed from the other side of the door.

Earlier, I asked him to take me home after the conversation at Bellamy's house. He didn't take long to drive me home and I didn't hesitate on inviting him inside and letting him and Carl stay the night. I didn't want to be alone.

I didn't respond though. I wasn't in my right mind to talk to anyone right now and maybe ever but as weird as it sounds, I just needed some normal people around me if not the one I was in love with and the other who I kept close to my heart.

Time went on and I restlessly laid on my bed. My nails dug into the skin of my palm as I was getting anxious and uncomfortable. I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I took my pills that were lying on my bedside and chucked them down with the glass of water by their side.

I slipped under the covers again and closed my eyes one more time.

I think I was drifting to sleep until a warm body adjusted themselves around the not-so-injured part of my body. I gasped and hit my fist straight into the strangers groin.

"Jane? Fuck! Ow-"

I felt like someone put my soul but inside my body as I snapped my eyes open and sprang into a sitting position on the bed. It hurt like hell and I groaned as I watch Bellamy hold onto his crotch and curse a little more.

"Why are you smiling? I need my dick, you need it too!" He scolded as I bit on my lip and drink up his appearance.

He was still in the same clothes, a dark blue shirt, black ripped Jean, leather jacket. His hair was messy but still made him look like a Greek God. I searched his face and hands for bruises but he was clean.

"Thank god you're alive!" I reached my hand out to touch him as he recovered from the hit.

"Of course, I want you to be happy and I won't let them lay a hand on you," He mumbled as he placed my on his lap and cradled me like a baby.

I breathed in his scent which calmed my nerves even more, the pain fading as my body relaxed into his touch. He nuzzle his face into the crook of my neck and his breathing got faster, matching mine.

"Promise you're staying?" I asked to make sure I didn't wake up alone.

"I promise," He said before holding me tighter. One of his hands gripped my waist possessively while the other hand trailed up and down my spine.

"Do actually didn't go after him? How's Keith?" I asked as I leaned hack a bit to look at his face.

"He's at home. We called it off. Trace is getting away with it and maybe we won't have a lead on him ever again." He said in a serious tone. I could tell he hated making this discussion but it has to be done.

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