Love over Hate

Facing Your Fears

 "Please, let me know you're okay. Just a word, a symbol. Anything to let me know that you're alive and holed up somewhere. I'm so freaking scared. Please Baby."

Reading Jared's text, you weren't surprised when a tear fell and hit the screen. Another and another, and soon you dropped the phone, curling in as tight as you could, letting the tears fall. It hurt, but they continued to fall. It was the culmination of everything, and you were glad no one was there to see the big ugly tears that soaked the pillow below you.

Truthfully, you had no idea what to do. You had lost your boyfriend, your job, even your house in one day. You were shunned by most of your fans, and you wondered if you would ever be able to find another job. Your heart wanted nothing more than to go back to Jared, and you ached to feel his arms around you once again.

Taking a deep breath, you picked up the phone, calling the one person who might have some insight on your problem. "Y/N, thank god! Where are you?" Gen exclaimed, answering almost immediately.

"Outside of Vancouver." You sniffled. "In this cute little motel by the ocean."

"But you're okay?" She asked you, muttering something before you could hear her shut the door behind her.

"No, I'm far from okay." You whispered, trying your hardest not to cry once again.

"I know sweetie. I've heard what's happened." She answered.

"What do I do? I've lost Jared, my job. Even my home!" You exclaimed, standing up and pacing the small room.

"You need to talk to Jared. Let him explain everything, then the two of you can go from there. But Y/N, this isn't the end. You two can work through this, I know you can." She insisted, but you had your doubts.

"I just wonder if I should start all over again. Move away, find a new job. Maybe not acting anymore." You muttered. "Get as far away from this heartache as possible.

"No." She exclaimed. "You're going to fight for what's yours. Tomorrow, you're going to head back to set, demand your job back. Then, you're going to talk to Jared, who acted rashly."

"I'm not sure I'm brave enough." You argued. "But I'll try."

"Good. Now get a good night's sleep. Everything will look better in the morning." She said softly. "And then, if you need to, you can come down to Texas with me and the boys. You're always welcomed."

"Thanks Gen. Thank you for being there for me. I know it can't be easy, since I'm your ex husband's girlfriend, but you have been nothing but nice, and you don't know how much I appreciate it."

"It's the least I can do. Jared will always be my friend, and I want him happy."

Hanging up the phone, you cuddled deep into your bed, your mind racing as you thought about tomorrow. You knew Gen was right. You should just go there tomorrow, and talk to the manager and producer, see what was going on. Then, talk to Jared, just to see if anything was salvageable.

Yawning, you closed your eyes, knowing you would need a good night's sleep for your busy day tomorrow.

Sleep wasn't easy that night. You kept tossing and turning, your mind continuing to play tricks on you, making you think the worst was going to happen. Visions of the producers laughing you off set, and never being able to find another job filled your nightmares. If it wasn't that, then it was Jared shutting the door in your face, literally ripping your heart in two.

By the time you finally gave up on sleeping, you felt as if you hadn't actually slept at all. Sighing, you rubbed your hand over your face, knowing you needed to get started on your day. Changing into a simple outfit of jeans and your sweatshirt, you quickly packed the rest of your small belongings back into the little duffle bag you had bought.

Making your way to the lobby, you weren't surprised to see the little old woman standing at the front desk, humming as she cleaned away. "Oh, it's you!" She exclaimed, turning to face you with a huge smile. "I take it things have worked out."

"Not yet. But I can't hide here any longer." You told her, handing over the key. "It's time I face things, and try to make them right."

"That's the spirit." She answered, handing me my bill which was so much cheaper than it should have been. Glancing up at her, all she did was wink before reaching over and grasping my hand. "And I have a feeling everything is going to work out for you. Just believe in it."

"Thank you." You said, turning to leave.

"Oh! Let me call a cab for you!" She said as she hustled around to the phone. Heading outside, you sat on the little stone bench, letting the morning sun warm you. It wasn't too long before a cab pulled up, the same man as before. Glancing behind you, you waved to the sweet little woman, before climbing inside the cab.

"Back to the lot miss?" He asked you, pulling away from the curb.

"No, I think I need to head home first." You answered him, wanting to wear something a little more appropriate when you talked to the studio heads. Giving him the address, you leaned back, watching as the beach scenery quickly changed into the busy, bustling city of Vancouver.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay." He said, surprising you. "That place is always good when you feel lost."

"It was a wonderful place." You answered. "I know I'll probably find myself back there someday."

By this time, he was pulling the cab up in front of Jared's house, whistling at the beauty of it. "You left this house to stay at that tiny motel?"

"Yeah." You answered, hoping this wouldn't be the last time you would be pulling up to this house. Hoping that you could fix things with Jared. Thanking the cab driver, you went to pull out the last of your change, but he shook his head.

"No, I'm just glad I got you home safe and sound. That's payment enough for me today." He told you, before pulling away.

You couldn't see any lights on, and in a way, you were relieved. You didn't know if you were quite ready for a confrontation with Jared yet, even if you wanted to fix things. Sliding the strap of your duffle bag further up your shoulder, you went to the front door, easily finding the spare key Jared had told you about.

Slipping inside, you went into the kitchen, grabbing a banana before planning on heading up to your room. As you walked through the darkened hallway, you were stopped by the sound of Jared's gruff voice. "Y/N?"

It took your eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness of the living room. All the curtains were drawn, the lights off, and it was almost completely pitch-black inside. You could barely see him sitting there, sprawled out in one of the arm chairs, his long legs stretched out in front of him. "Jared...I didn't expect you to be home." You muttered, not knowing exactly what to say.