➵ yoongi
the first time i saw jimin cry came as a shock to me.
for the almost six months we'd known each other, i'd almost never seen him be anything other than smiley and cheerful. he was always the one who woke me up in the morning, dancing around my room and opening the curtains as he sang like it was some disney movie.
so when i came home from the studio one night, to see jimin curled up on the couch, tear tracks down his red cheeks, at first i didn't know how to react. i just stood in the doorway, open-mouthed in shock, staring at him. then he lifted his head towards me and mumbled out a shaky "hyung?" in a small voice, and i immediately rushed over to him and pulled him into a tight hug, hands carding through his soft hair.
"hyung's here. what's wrong, jimin-ah?"
"my...m-my parents–"
and once he said those words, i knew nothing good was coming. "what did they do?" i prompted, taking the pad of my thumb and wiping the wetness from his cheeks.
"all my money, it's gone. everything i had saved, t-they took it." jimin hiccuped, burying his face in my sweater. "now i have no way to p-pay for college."
the first emotion i felt was disbelief. i was appalled that after everything he'd already been through, his parents felt like they had the right to take away his hard earned money, take away his education that he was paying for himself? and then i was angry, because if anybody deserved to go through that it definitely wasn't jimin, the trembling boy i currently held in my arms, who'd always forced down any possible emotions in order to put everybody else's first.
"you know, i'm not a violent person, jimin, but there's two people i really want to punch in the throat right about now."
jimin managed to giggle a little, and that alone made me feel whole. hearing jimin laugh had become one of my favourite sounds; it was kind of like a baby's laugh in the way that it was contagious, it made you want to smile and laugh right along with him.
after jimin had somewhat calmed down and stopped crying, we lay there on the couch for a few moments before i broke the silence. "so, now what?" i said in a more serious tone that i usually used.
jimin bit his lip. "i mean, i have to drop out. i can't afford to put myself through school without all my savings. i'll get a job to keep up my share of the rent, but-"
"don't worry about the rent. if you can't quite make it sometimes, it's no big deal, okay?" jimin looked at me incredulously, and i nodded firmly. "i mean it. i don't want you to be off, on the streets of seoul, like, selling your body to make rent. i can help."
jimin cracked a smile at the joke, and i mirrored it. "okay?"
"okay," he nodded.
"come on, let's get up," i stood, reaching my hand out for jimin to take. "i'll run you a bath while i make dinner, does that sound good?"
jimin grasped my hand and i pulled him to his feet. "that would be really nice," he said quietly. he followed after me as i started up the stairs and into the bathroom. while i ran the bath, jimin sat on the closed toilet seat and watched me as i fiddled with the temperature knobs.
"do you want a bath bomb? i happened to buy some the other day and figured you'd like them," i asked, looking over my shoulder to glance at jimin. he beamed, eyes crinkling up as he nodded. "they're in the cupboard. go pick one out." i gestured to the cabinets above the sink behind me, and he got up.
just as the bath was nearly full, i got up off my knees and cracked a half-smile at jimin. "here you go. i'll call you when dinner's ready, okay?"
jimin nodded, and taking me a bit by surprise, enveloped me in a tight hug. "what's this for?" i asked while chuckling.
"for being there for me. thank you, hyungie."
***
"jiminie! food!" i yelled upstairs as i turned the stove off and grabbed two plates from the cupboard, dishing the food onto the plates carrying them to the table.
i was just sitting down when i heard footsteps bounding down the stairs. i looked up to see jimin wearing a onesie and immediately burst into a grin. "comfy?" i asked as he plopped down in a chair.
jimin beamed at me as he picked up his chopsticks and began eating. "mm~ hyung, this is really good," he said, wide-eyed as he ate.
i smiled as i took another bite. as we ate i kept looking at him, and something inside of me clicked. i realized just how i really felt about jimin, which terrified me. i didn't know if i could even handle being in a relationship after everything that happened to me.
but if i was going to attempt to forge anything with jimin, i knew i had to fully open up. he already knew most of it from my drunken ramble that one night, but i needed to get it all out.
"so," i began, after swallowing the last bite of food and setting down my chopsticks. "i need to talk to you."
jimin stopped mid-chew, blinking slowly and nodding.
"do you remember the night i came home drunk and talked about my brother?" jimin nodded again. i took a deep breath. "okay so...i know you know most of it but i feel i need to get it all out. i haven't told anybody what really happened, namjoon only knows that my brother died in a crash. he doesn't know... he doesn't know i was at fault."
jimin pushed his plate away, standing up and moving to the chair next to me, instead of the one he usually sat in that was across from me. he grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed reassuringly. "it's okay, hyung. you can tell me anything."
i nodded, exhaling again. and then i began to let everything out. nothing but the truth, and though i shed a few tears, it felt good to finally get everything off my chest. i no longer had to suffocate with the guilt resting in my heart.
by the end, jimin was practically in my lap, arms wrapped loosely around my neck and head resting against mine. i wasn't entirely sure how we'd ended up in this position, but as i tilted my head up, jimin looked down at me with a lazy smile. without thinking, i leaned forward and captured our lips. the kiss wasn't rushed, just right. jimin kissed back almost instantly, wrapping his arms tighter around my neck and pushing our lips closer together.
jimin tangled his hands in the hair at the base of my neck, and i had to suppress a moan. before it got any more heated, i pulled back, looking up at jimin who looked back at me with a disappointed pout on his swollen lips.
"sorry, jagi," i murmured, the pet name making jimin blush. "i didn't want it to go further into something we'd both regret."
jimin nodded, climbing off my lap and stretching. "i'm tired, hyung. see you in the morning," he said as he headed for the stairs, waving his sleeve-covered hand.
"good night, jiminie." i called as i collected our plates and loaded the dishwasher. i leaned back against the counter and listened to the soft padding of jimin's feet on the stairs, thinking to myself of what the hell kind of hole i just dug myself into.
