thirty four

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jimin

"you... you could have saved him!" i choked out, glaring up at the doctor who had proclaimed yoongi's death like some sort of self-righteous reaper. i started to stand and rushed forward to take a swing at him but stopped, as jihyun held me back. his grip on my arms was intense, and that made me realize how much my little brother had really grown.

my face felt warm, and my vision blurred as hot, angry tears spilled down my cheeks. "you..." i choked on my own tears and knees buckling, collapsed onto the cold, white floor of the emergency room.

i sat on the floor and remained there, unmoving and crying silently. jihyun sat next to me, rubbing my back and hugging me tightly.

this was the worst birthday ever.

***

the only thing more painful than watching your best friend die in front of you, is having to fill out paperwork for your dead best friend, because they are unable to themselves, because they are dead.

the woman at the desk kept giving me sad and sympathetic glances as i filled out all yoongi's information. finally we were free to leave and i hurriedly tugged jihyun out of the stuffy waiting room.

the sky was still dark as we walked into the fresh air. slowly we began the walk back to the house, a heavy silence falling between us.

-

back at the hospital, a lone nurse lingered in the emergency room, her thoughts elsewhere. she was thinking of the two boys from earlier, who had begged to be let in to the operating room. she was thinking of how distraught and upset the one boy looked. his words kept echoing in her head, "i'm all he has."

how sad of a life that must be to only have one person in it?

soon after they had left, the boy who had died was wheeled out, presumably taken somewhere else to allow custodial staff to clean up the room.

the tired young nurse left the room after she finished tidying up. her shift was about to end, and she was just about to put on her jacket and head home when she overheard a few raised and panicked voices out in the hallway. she rushed out of the break room to see several doctors and nurses from various wards in the hospital either running or jogging down the corridor, all seeming to crowd around one particular room. curious, the young woman went to join them.

as she neared the group, she could pick out bits and pieces of conversation passed between the onlookers and the doctors who were fighting their way into the room.

"i've never seen..."

"how is this possible.."

"...dead this morning, but seems..."

frustrated that she couldn't properly hear what was going on, she tapped an assistant's shoulder, smiling kindly.

"excuse me, but could you tell me what all the commotion is about?" she asked politely.

"yeah, one of the doctors found out that this patient who was declared dead sometime this morning, actually still had a pulse. turns out he's just in a coma."

the nurse's eyes widened. it couldn't be, there was no way. she thanked the young man and gently pushed by nurses and assistants who were clustered on the outside of the group, apologizing endlessly as she made her way to the front. she had to know.

on the closed door in front of her, there was a sign hanging on it, the name in red dry erase marker freshly scrawled. min yoongi was the name written on the board. the boy's words from earlier still echoed in her ears.

"i'm all he has."

could it be the same boy?

she said a quick thank-you prayer to whatever god there was when she caught a glimpse of the familiar limp body laid carefully on the closest bed, blonde hair splayed across the pillow, monitor showing a steady heartbeat.

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