➵ yoongi
at first everything was black.
then i was back at my childhood home in daegu, sitting in the backyard with my brother. i looked about four, meaning he was only about two. we were playing with his new remote control plane, and his face was lit up with happiness. i giggled as my brother handed me the remote, and i made it spin around and around until it bumped into yoonho's forehead. he stuck his tongue out at me, and just as i flew the plane out of the reach of his small hands, it changed.
now i was five, and yoonho was behind me, pushing my neon green bike forward while i wobbily pedalled down the sidewalk. it was my first two-wheel bike, and our father was too busy with work to fill the role of a father yet again, so my brother was helping me.
i was giggling as yoonho held onto the back of my seat, as my short legs carried me down the street. "go, hyung! you can do it!" with that, my brother gave me a final push, and i was biking on my own. i remember when i stopped and looked back to see the proudest smile on his face. "yay, hyung! you did it!"
then it changed, in a flash. i was behind the wheel of my old car. yoonho was sitting in the passenger seat. in a horrifying instant, i recognized what was happening. but no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't make myself wake up, or change the memory. i was going to be forced to relive the exact memory that had haunted me for the past four years.
headlights. scream.
crash. blood.
crying.
a bright light flooded into the car, i looked out my broken window, hearing a voice repeatedly calling my name...
"yoongi!"
"yoongi, wake up!"
"hyung, please. it's jimin. wake up for me."
jimin?
***
➵ third person
park jimin was sitting in a hospital room holding his comatose best friend in his arms, like he had been on numerous occasions in the last four weeks, but this time was different.
this time, he was going to wake up and everything would change.
the younger looked back at namjoon, who was standing with jin, their hands tightly intertwined.
it scared the living hell out of him as jimin held yoongi in his shaking hands, when he suddenly gasped, eyes flying open and sat straight up. "jimin!" yoongi cried out, his voice hoarse from disuse. jimin pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. "jimin..." yoongi started to cry, and in seconds, full on sobs were escaping from his chapped and broken lips.
"shh, don't cry hyung. i'm here, you're alright. i'm right here." jimin soothed him, rubbing his hand in circles on his back.
"yoonho... i saw him, jiminie, w-we were back home, playing together, and he was helping me ride a bike, a-and then...." yoongi was crying so hard at this point that jimin almost couldn't understand what he was saying. "it...was the c-crash, jimin. i watched it happen, and i saw my brother die, and it was all my fucking fault...." this made yoongi erupt into another painful sob. jimin just held him and kept whispering soothing words in his ear.
from his spot leaning against the wall, namjoon's heart was breaking. seeing his childhood best friend hit total rock bottom was the worst thing to him. namjoon was thankful that yoongi had someone like jimin, who would do anything for him. he squeezed jin's hand, and the elder laid his head on namjoon's shoulder, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.
"shh, no, it wasn't your fault. i told you this before." jimin was saying, attempting to comfort the sobbing man. the blonde boy cried into his shoulder quietly for a solid five minutes, and then when he'd finally calmed down, jimin pulled back, standing beside the bed. "yoongi hyung, we still need to talk about what you did."
yoongi snuffled in response, tossing his tissue into the wastebasket beside the bed. "i don't really see the point. you're just going to yell at me, it won't fix anything."
"you don't see the point? i-you nearly killed yourself, yoongi. twice! and that's not okay! do you know how i've spent the last month? huh?" jimin's face was red, his lower lip trembling. "i came here every day, laying with you and praying to whatever god is up there that you'd wake up, because i couldn't imagine going on without you in my life."
"i think we should leave them be," jin whispered into namjoon's ear, who nodded and then the older couple left.
yoongi's mouth opened, and he went to say something, but couldn't utter more than "jimin... i'm so sorry. you know what i've been through."
jimin clenched his fists, gritting his teeth together. he wasn't even thinking about what he was saying at this point. "what you've been through! that's the most bullshit excuse i've ever heard! yeah, hyung, you've had some really shitty things happen to you. but that's absolutely no fucking reason to be doing this!" jimin flailed his hands wildly around the hospital room to illustrate his frustration.
yoongi went quiet, staring into jimin's big brown eyes that were red at the rims from crying. he couldn't imagine how much crying the younger been doing since he went out. he now started to feel bad for hurting jimin.
"i know sorry doesn't really fix what i did, but i really am. when i did what i did, i didn't mean to hurt you, i only wanted to numb the pain. i didn't think about you." yoongi tried to apologize, but he couldn't meet his best friend's eyes and played with his fingers instead.
jimin seems to be at a loss. he shook his head, biting his lip. "you need serious help, hyung. and it won't be coming from me any more." with that, he turned around and left, not looking back.
yoongi sat there for a moment, trying to process the fact that he had pretty much just lost his best friend.
how much farther could he fall?
***
"so, i take it that didn't go as well as you expected." namjoon spoke up as soon as jimin entered the waiting area downstairs, where he and jin had been sitting.
jimin exhaled, running a hand through his messy hair. "i just... i'm just tired. of everything."
jin nodded, standing up and grabbing his boyfriend's hand. "you've been through a lot in the last month. it's perfectly fine to be tired. now come on, let's go home." he clapped jimin on the back before striding towards the front doors, namjoon in hand. jimin followed behind them, sending a small smile to hoseok behind the reception desk.
a couple of hours later, namjoon, jin and jimin were walking home, talking quietly. the youngest looked up, seeing his house coming up.
"thanks for being here for me, hyungs. if i was alone i would probably have gone back and apologized by now."
namjoon could tell jimin was feeling down, so he stopped in his tracks and pulled the younger boy into a tight hug. "it'll be alright. hey, he's awake right? things can only get better from here."
