➵ jimin
i woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and empty space next to me.
i did remember what taehyung and i did, which only served to stir up a mixture of guilt and regret inside me. i wasn't exactly sure why i was feeling guilty; i hadn't cheated on anybody and it had been mutual, fuelled by intoxication, but mutual nonetheless.
when i was still feeling troubled four hours after waking up, i decided to call jungkook.
i grabbed my laptop and plopped onto the couch, folding my legs underneath me. quickly i signed in and opened the facetime app, calling jungkook.
his face appeared on the screen after only seconds. "hyung!" he exclaimed, grinning his bunny smile. i waved and smiled back, trying not to cringe at the loud noise.
"hey, kook. how are you?" i ran my fingers through my messy bed hair, trying to make it look semi decent. "we haven't talked in forever."
jungkook nodded. "i'm fine, how are you? how's that hot roomie of yours?"
my eyes widened as i shook my head. "jungkook-ah!" he just laughed, while my face reddened. "things over here... ah, they could be better?"
my best friend frowned. "is that why you called?" i nodded. "okay, spill it."
i heaved a sigh. "guess i'll start at the beginning. so i won't go into too much details because yoongi hyung trusted me with this information and doesn't want a lot of people to know." i paused, thinking about how i was going to word it. "basically in short, he went through a really rough time and lost his little brother, which is now driving him to nearly drink himself to death. i found him a while ago passed out in his studio and had to bring him to the hospital."
jungkook chewed on his lip.
"and, i don't know, he has this effect on me, like i think i like him but it's scary because i don't wanna lose him, kookie. he's so sweet and funny but he's got so much baggage that i want to help him with, but he doesn't like to talk about it.
"and now, he's gone on a little vacation with his best friend to help him get his mind off things for a couple weeks. so last night i invited over my friend taehyung, and we maybe got a little drunk and slept together?"
i watched as jungkook sighed and rubbed his face with his palms. "hyung, i take back what i said about you getting responsible when you moved to seoul. i can't believe you would do that."
i chucked dryly. "me neither, kook. me neither."
***
my talk with jungkook ended up lasting over an hour, but left me feeling a lot better about my entire life at this point.
after shutting down my computer i decided to take a shower, knowing that would help clear my head.
after undressing i stepped under the hot spray, letting the water just run over my body. closing my eyes, i put my face under the spray for a moment, losing myself in my thoughts.
at this point, it was undeniable that i liked yoongi as much more than a friend. we'd grown to be close over the two years we had lived with each other, and i cherished every moment we spent together. i loved his smile, his laugh, how he could go from blank-faced to flirty in seconds, and most of all, i loved how he made me feel like i was worth something.
when i got kicked out, my parents made me feel like nobody could love me because of who i was, what i was. but yoongi showed me that i was wrong, and that there was nothing wrong with being gay, or pursuing your dreams. yoongi showed me that i didn't need the approval of others to love who i was and live how i wanted.
i couldn't help but indulge myself in imagining what it would be like to date yoongi. he definitely seemed like the type to really care about his partner, even if he didn't show it obviously. he seemed like he would choose intimate, romantic dates where it was just the two of us. i smiled to myself.
but of course, yoongi had a dark side to him. the overwhelming grief and guilt he felt for being at the wheel of the accident that killed his little brother, was surely a huge burden. i didn't know how i could even begin to help him heal.
by the time i brought myself out of my thoughts, the water was turning cold. i quickly washed my hair and body and got out, wrapping a fluffy towel around my waist before walking out of the bathroom and into my room.
i dried off and tugged on clean underwear, sweats and a tee shirt i was sure was one of yoongi's. flopping down on the bed, i grabbed my phone from where it was laying amongst the unmade sheets and turned it on to check my notifications.
(1) new message from: taehyungie🐯
hey um about last night... can we just forget it happened? i don't wanna ruin our friendship :)
instagram
minyoongi started following you!
minyoongi liked your photo!
minyoongi liked your photo!
i giggled to myself, realizing namjoon had likely convinced yoongi to join instagram. the prospect of a ton of cute selfies from yoongi made my stomach flutter.
facebook
(1) new friend request!
after typing out a reply to taehyung, i opened facebook. i went through my other notifications before opening the friend requests tab, and when i did my heart skipped a beat for a second.
jihyun park sent you a friend request!
i bit my lip. could this be my brother? i used to have him as a friend but he had unfriended me after i left, which meant my parents made him block me on every social media platform. but why would he add me again?
i opened the profile and found that it was in fact not jihyun's usual profile. there was no about information, no photos other than his profile picture, and no posts. if this was him, this was an account he just made.
ignoring the voices in my head screaming at me to delete the request, my fingers typed out a message.
jimin park:
jihyun? is that really you?
jihyun park is typing..
jihyun park:
yes it's me hyung
jimin park:
why did you make a second profile?
jihyun park:
so eomma & appa don't see
i had to hold back tears. all this time, i had thought my brother hated me for leaving. but it turned out he was just scared to be caught talking to me.
jimin park:
i miss y ou so much fuckckdjsj jihyun i love you so much you know that right
jihyun park:
yes hyung i love you too
i've missed you so much :(
jimin park:
i can't believe how long it's been
you're 18 now holy shdjtej
jihyun park:
shhh jiminie hyung
jimin park:
i'm sorry im just so overwhelmed
so much is happening in my life rn
jihyun park:
i heard what happened to your college fund too :( i'm sorry hyung i wish i could have done something
jimin park:
oh jihyunnie it's okay it's not your fault
jihyun park:
so i wanted to ask you something
my friend asked me if i wanted to take a trip to seoul with him
you're in seoul right
jimin park:
yes oh my god yes jihyun come see hyung i need to hug you so bad
jihyun park:
ㅋㅋㅋ hyung calm down
i'll tell him yes then
i'll be there for your birthday
jimin park:
i'm gonna cry i'm so happy
i love you so much
jihyun park:
i love you too hyung.
see you soon
_____
some fluff to lighten the angst :)
