Enhance

Chapter 29 - Tomlinson

Chapter 29 - Tomlinson

Things are good and bad and I’m not sure how to feel about it. I mean, our team is in a winning strike and that’s beyond amazing. We’re actually going to the semi-final this week and it all seems like we can win this season. And I keep playing as forward during the second half, which has turned out incredible well because Connor doesn’t want to lose against me, so he gives his upmost best. The other teams have learnt to fear Connor during the first half and to fear Tom and I during the second. Coach Meyer is really happy about this.

However, not all is rainbows and butterflies. Robin and I are not doing so well. We’re still together and we have these amazing days in which I feel the world is a perfect place, but then we have crappy days and it’s always for the same reason: jealousy. And I swear I try to understand her and put her at ease, but I lose my temper as well. I hate that she doesn’t trust me by now. That she keeps doubting me and thinking, even at some subconscious level, that I could do something to hurt her.

So over the last two weeks we’ve had loads of fights and I’m getting tired. I mean, my patience has a limit and if every time a girl approaches me she’ll turn into this green monster, things will only get worse. It’s like I almost dread the moment I’ll have to interact with another girl because I know what will come next and it ruins my mood. I’m a uni student, I go to parties, there’re always cheerleaders around because I’m in a football team. Am I supposed to avoid every girl just so she doesn’t get jealous? I understand she has insecurities, but this is absurd.

So yeah, things have been a bit tense between us, but also things have been great because if we put all this jealousy trait apart, she’s amazing. When there’s only the two of us it’s just great. Or when we hang out with Harry or Jamie and Gerald. She’s fun and sweet, witty and incredibly smart. And she’s so passionate about the things she loves, and that passion makes her funny. At the beginning I was confused as the way she worded things, but I got used to. Now I know that when she says she would puke it’s because she likes it very much. When she wants to kill someone is because that person has done something amazing. Although sometimes is because she really hates the person. It’s a fine line there.

Last week I took her to watch another musical and she was so happy she told me she wanted to shoot me between the eyes. Yes, I was shocked at first but then I figured she was so happy that she wanted to show me that she didn’t know how to handle that.

Again, it’s a bit complicated but I get her now and it makes it funny. Different. That she sometimes expresses her happiness as anger is actually cute to see, in a very different way.

It’s never a dull moment with her.

I just wish she wouldn’t be so jealous so every moment could be great with her so I could say there’re no cons with Robin Summers, but sadly there are. Well, it’s only one downside, a big important one. Harry usually tells me to calm down every time Robin and I have a fight and it worked pretty well at the beginning, but with every fight it’s getting harder to cool off and try to make up.

I get headaches trying to figure out how to solve this. I don’t want this to wear out our relationship, not after I work so hard to get her. But what can I do? No matter what I tell her, she still gets jealous and paranoid and she always gets mad at me.

“You only encourage them! You know how this makes me feel and there you go, smiling and making them laugh and… ugh! Why do you do that? Don’t you have compassion for how I feel?” she usually yells at me, something along the lines.

“It’s that you’re overreacting! I’m not encouraging them but I’m not gonna be rude to them because of you!” is normally my answer, which of course pisses her off even further.