Enhance

Chapter 32 - Summers

Chapter 32 - Summers

I never realised how proud I was until I couldn’t go after Louis, no matter how much I missed him. I knew I had to go but I always found a reason to justify my anger. A reason to be mad at him. But, did I really have a reason? As days passed it seemed more and more like a misunderstanding and more like it was my fault, only my fault.

I know I’m insecure, I’ve always known that. I know I’m jealous and possessive. It’s just that… I don’t want to lose the things I love because I know how much that hurts. I’ve lost people I’ve loved because others have stolen them from me. It honestly hurts like hell and I don’t want to feel like that ever again. But it seems I only push the people I care about away by being this way.

Louis is tired of me. I caused that, because I can’t control my own jealousy. All that sensible part of me goes away when I see those girls all over him. Hugging him. Rubbing themselves against him. It happens over and over again and he doesn’t seem to notice. How’s that possible?

I know not every girl is like that. In fact, I’ve seen some pretty nice cheerleaders just being nice and complimenting him. The difference is obvious, you can see it in their body language that they are not trying to seduce a man, they are just being nice. But you can also notice the difference when a girl is flirting, insinuating. And it makes me so angry that Louis doesn’t see the difference. He’s nice, I know that, but that kindness is an open invitation for these other girls, the ones that are actually trying to steal him from me.

And no! I’m not imagining that. I know it by a fact.

Okay, let’s state something clear first. I’m not following stereotypes, I don’t believe all cheerleaders are mean girls, like in those American movies. The reason these girls are despicable has nothing to do with them being cheerleaders, it’s all because they are them. Most of the cheerleaders are really nice and bubbly, but not harpies. In fact, one of the real and nice cheerleaders, Suzy —she’s really adorable, I kind of love her— walks up to me this morning.

“Hi there, Robin,” she greets me with a big smile. We met at a party, she congratulated Louis and was all nice to me. “I haven’t seen you during practices,” she tells me and I look away, losing my polite smile.

“Yeah… things uh… with Louis,” I mumble and she also loses her smile.

“So it’s true, you two broke up,” she says and she really sounds sad. I’m impressed by the way she words that sentence. “Yeah, the other cheerleaders won’t shut up about that. Well, Kary, Bea, Joan and Mel,” Suzy explains further. “They keep saying that Louis is finally single so it’s their chance now.”

I have a lump in my throat and I actually feel sick. Suzy looks worried.

“I—I guess we did break up but I—“

“Robin, I hope you don’t mind or think I’m intruding,” she says and I shake my head, inviting her to carry on. “Louis is a great guy and he’s crazy about you. We all know it, and I think that makes the girls really envious. They don’t want you to have him.” I take a deep breath. I already knew this, but this is confirmation.

And then Louis says I’m overreacting.

“I’ve heard them, Robin. I think they even have a bet on who’s gonna get him first. You can’t let that happen. Don’t let them win, Robin.”

I blink in surprise, realising for the first time that all this time I was doing exactly what those girls wanted me to do. I was fighting with Louis, deteriorating our relationship, opening a door for those girls who don’t really want him. Girls who don’t love him. Girls who just see him as a prize. But I love him, I really do. And Suzy is right, I’m letting those girls win.