Little Spy | Peter Parker ✓

[26]

EVEN BEFORE IT ALL WENT WRONG, I HAD KNOWN IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE AN EASY DAY FOR ANYONE.

Sleep had not touched my eyes for even a moment. Even when my aching body cried for relief, my mind refused; all I received for my work were the screams of the dead that so often loved to haunt my dreams. Not wishing to spend the night stifling my tears, I instead chose to stay awake and try to decipher all I knew. Which was nothing, still, but I forced myself  to try and figure it all out anyways. I stayed awake and wrote down everything I knew and thought of on a spare piece of paper and read it over and over again, trying to figure out what Inga or any of it meant.

A bad feeling tickled the back of my mind, but I tried to ignore it and carry on. It did me no good to be worried. Instead, I pushed back my desire for rest and burning fear down and did what I always did. Play pretend.

"...gone," Mary Jane babbled beside me, ending a speech that I had heard practically none of. "I just wanted to punch the guy!"

"Mm, that makes sense."

She shot a look at me as we walked, pushing our way through the crowds - this time, not joined by Gwen, who was let out early due to a dentist appointment. "Hey, you okay? You've been sort of off all day. Actually, just off lately in general."

"I am fine," I snapped, only to realise my myself a moment later. Her face showed alarm, and I was supposed to be nice, not throwing swords of sharp tone whenever a simple question was asked. "Um, how are you?"

The girl just shrugged, looking back as a loud sound boomed - just one of the idiots that populated the building riding the rails with his skateboard - and failing. "I'm okay, just...no, I'm all good. All good in the hood here!"

"Are you..." I hesitated. I wasn't really sure if I should press, because it was not like I actually cared about how she was doing. Right? But the way she had faltered worried me in a way I was sure it shouldn't. And despite the warning in my head, I pushed forward. "Are you okay?"

She turned and stared at me. I watched her back.

I would never tell her, but Mary Jane's eyes had always been strangely fascinating. There was so much vivacity in them, green of a thousand shades, like gardens I had only seen in my dreams filled with life and flowers of a million sorts. I wondered if she knew how much power she had. That she could start wars with just a stare, break entire cities in two with the juniper and emerald and brilliant chartreuse glimmering in those eyes. They were always so full of life, and it usually hurt, to stare into them. 

But today, they weren't quite so bright. As I examined her expression, I found that her eyes were greyer, mournful over something I couldn't quite figure out.

Mary Jane averted her eyes from me, finally, shrugging. "It's hard to explain, Em. And...it's also kind of dumb."

I watched her closely. She seemed a little embarrassed about something, maybe worried, too. "I...it's alright." I reached out and patted her shoulder awkwardly; she flinched a little at the gesture, and my hand slipped away soon after. "I have heard a lot of dumb things. I won't judge you for this one."

Maybe that was not as comforting as I meant it to be. But she still smiled, so I counted it as a victory.

We stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the people race past us, and I was starting to believe she wasn't actually going to share what was troubling her - something I couldn't tell if I liked or felt bad about. Finally, however, she adjusted her stance and spoke. "You know about my whole theatre thing? Well, I mean, I've been doing it since I was little, and it's been my dream since forever to be on stage, but now, I'm not so sure of it. I had a talk with my parents last night, see, and they told me that it was silly, that I was going to waste potential - which, hell, I don't even think I have potential, Em! I mean, theatre is really the only thing I'm good at!"